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BMW M2 and 2-Series Coupe
| 05-23-2022, 03:33 AM | #442 |
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste.When I was in India last summer I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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| 05-23-2022, 03:38 AM | #443 |
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A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs.Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die!
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cmyx6go17140.50 vreihen1623401.50 Dpc2u11285.00 KRS_SN14927.00 antgenn341.50 Esteban59405.50 Samurai of 2day2338.50 Dino GT34884.00 Kilabyte4014.00 JPSurratt200593.50 |
| 05-23-2022, 07:47 AM | #444 |
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Cailín gan eagla.
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When someone offers you to wash your back in the shower, all you have to say is YES or NO.
Not that " Who are you?" and "How did you get in?" nonsense. |
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| 05-23-2022, 10:33 AM | #445 |
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I'd love to grow my own food, but I haven't been able to find any bacon seeds.
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2014 BMW M235i
2024 Mercedes Benz GLC300 Has it been 4 years yet? |
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| 05-23-2022, 02:44 PM | #447 |
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I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgasm.
She said she doesn’t like to bother me when I’m at work. |
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Esteban59405.50 Dpc2u11285.00 Dino GT34884.00 Kilabyte4014.00 Samurai of 2day2338.50 infinitekidM2C4301.00 JPSurratt200593.50 sygazelle15106.50 |
| 05-23-2022, 02:46 PM | #448 |
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Little boy at the zoo with mum asks what that dangly thing on the elephant is
It's the trunk No, further back The tail. No, not that - in the middle, underneath Mum (very pink now) It's nothing! A few weeks later he's back with his dad this time. Dad, what's that dangly thing on the elephant? The trunk No, further back The tail No, not that, the thing underneath in the middle - when I came with Mum she said it was nothing Aah - your mother's been spoilt, son |
| 05-23-2022, 02:47 PM | #449 |
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I was on a train with my wife when a man across the aisle repeatedly broke wind extremely loudly.
"How dare you fart before my wife!?" I said. "Sorry, didn't know it was her turn..." |
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| 05-23-2022, 02:48 PM | #450 |
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Husband - right love, get your coat on, I’m going down to the pub.
Wife - ooh, that’s nice love, you haven’t taken me out in ages. Husband - oh, you’re not coming with me, I’m just turning the heating off. |
| 05-23-2022, 04:43 PM | #451 |
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Comfortably Numb
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Drives: '18 x1/'13 X3/'06 330i
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cortland, Ohio
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What's the difference between a asskisser and a brown noser?
Depth perception
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06 e90 330i/Alpine White/Terra Dakota
13 F25 X3 xDrive 35i/Black Sapphire Metallic/Oyster Nevada 18 F48 X1 xDrive 28i/Black Sapphire Metallic/Black SensaTec |
| 05-24-2022, 02:23 AM | #452 |
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First Lieutenant
 
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If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck…..it needs a while longer in the oven
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Current: Porsche Panamera 4S e-hybrid Sport Turismo
Past: 2018 BMW G11 740d MSport XDrive, 2015 Audi 3.0tdi A8L, 2012 Audi 3.0tdi A8L, 2009 Audi 3.0tdi A8, 2005 Jaguar 4.2V8 XJL, 2000 Jaguar 4.0V8 XJL + many others |
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| 05-24-2022, 11:19 AM | #453 | |
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Quote:
Coffee, tea or me. 
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2014 BMW M235i
2024 Mercedes Benz GLC300 Has it been 4 years yet? |
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| 05-24-2022, 12:12 PM | #454 |
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Colonel
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Sometimes physics can be a real bummer.
I was thinking about gravity yesterday and it really brought me down.
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2015 Black Sapphire Metallic 6MT M4
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| 05-24-2022, 02:52 PM | #455 |
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We've all heard the adage about killing two birds with one stone, right?
Well, dinosaurs were the prehistoric ancestors of birds. Thus, the asteroid that hit the Earth and killed the dinosaurs was the highest amount of birds killed by one stone, ever. All time record!
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2015 Black Sapphire Metallic 6MT M4
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| 05-25-2022, 09:42 AM | #457 |
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How to win the war on drugs:
!) Legalize all drugs 2) Make them have to go through Comcast customer service to get them |
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| 05-27-2022, 05:20 PM | #458 |
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First Lieutenant
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Guest in a restaurant asks the waiter if the duck on the menu was wild.
Not sure about wild, but it wasn’t very happy replied the waiter
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Current: Porsche Panamera 4S e-hybrid Sport Turismo
Past: 2018 BMW G11 740d MSport XDrive, 2015 Audi 3.0tdi A8L, 2012 Audi 3.0tdi A8L, 2009 Audi 3.0tdi A8, 2005 Jaguar 4.2V8 XJL, 2000 Jaguar 4.0V8 XJL + many others |
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| 05-28-2022, 02:24 AM | #460 |
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It's not really drinking alone...
…if the cat is home. Cheers! |
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| 05-28-2022, 03:49 AM | #462 |
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i don't trust the press.Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall back all surprised.
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