[sygazelle]

I feel for you, man. It must be horrible to be in this kind of rut.

Not to brag, but I always had the opposite situation regarding work. I have no idea where my self-motivation started, maybe because my mother made me work hard as a kid to do my share around the house. From my very first job I had a fire in my belly to just do the best I could and enjoy it. I was able to work my entire career without losing that fire. Even now that I am retired, when a friend brings up a work situation, my ears still perk up.

Since I've never been in your shoes, I can't give you any direct advice. Hopefully, what you are going through is temporary. Maybe you can try some of the ideas from the posts here and see what works for you.

Just think how lucky you are to have a job that provides your current lifestyle. Focus on the positive if you can.

Good luck!

[shoei]

It kinda sounds like depression. Possibly.

[3.0L]

Originally Posted by shoei

It kinda sounds like depression. Possibly.

Life without reward could indeed be depressing.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I am. I stared at a corporate return that should have taken less than a day to do for 3 days. Maybe 4. Honestly can't remember. Browsing the internet, doing nothing productive, feeling disgusted with myself at the end of every day.

I say that I need a disconnect, some time away, but I got that over Christmas and clearly that didn't work. So I'm not sure what it is. I'm not by habit a lazy person.

Just finding it harder to care about work. Feels like it is piling up and I'm out of control too in a way in terms of I can't remember who I've promised what and timelines. Pretty much reactionary right now to whoever screams the loudest.

If you've been this way and have snapped out of it - what did you do?

Joekerr , I'm no doctor but it seems you are having issues managing stress and likely some depression. Our bodies interpret stress in the same way we interpret danger. Our primitive brain areas take over and we go into "fight", "flight", or "freeze" mode. When the work piles up to the point you arent able to manage, you freeze. You lose track of what you have promised, when its due, and you only focus on the immediate noise in front of you. I totally get that. I'm the same way. I find myself unable to work through the process of determining how we are doing on that complex problem with a tricky timeline that is critical to the business. So instead I find myself working on some low priority e-mail because it's right there in front of me and I can accomplish it immediately.

It takes some honest soul searching to sort things out. Maybe even a little professional counseling. For me, I re-organized one of my departments. I replaced some folks and re-arranged responsibilities. I realized I could not do and manage everything and was not using my team effectively because I didnt trust some of them to get the job done. I had to bring in people I trusted and lean on them to develop into the role, which they did. That in turn took pressure off me to focus on the higher value things my company needs me focused on. The relief and mental sanity gained from it has been monumental.

You're in a bit of a different situation being self-employed. Sounds like you're a CPA perhaps? Can you look to offload some clients? Focus on the high-value, high return clients. Or maybe if you are really in trouble you dump the big guys that soak up all your time and do a year of focusing on the easy clients. Can you hire a jr. accountant to shadow you and take some of the easy stuff off your plate? Whatever it is, you cant just put your head down and "try harder." What you are doing now isnt working so dont wast time beating yourself up over it. Instead, focus on what you need to change to buy you some sanity.

My wife is self employed as well. She owns and operates a small medical practice focused on family medicine. She was busting her ass for every patient, regardless of their insurance coverage. Some patients have top-tier insurance that reimburses my wife well. Others have shit insurance that reimburses my wife as little as $40 for an hour of her time. She made the move earlier this year to funnel all new patients with crap insurance over to one of her jr. doctors and only focus her time and efforts on the patients with insurance that can pay the bills. it sounds harsh, but medicine is a business and for hers to survive she had to make changes. The point is, sometimes you are so deep in the thick of it you cant see the path out. You need to take a BIG step back and reassess the whole thing.

[Alfisti]

It could just be the middle aged blahs. You've lost your youthful hope/promise, even though one has successfully navigated life so far and met basic goals), you're a long ways from retirement and you start to wonder why you are grinding. Been nailing the same woman for eons, maybe added a little pudge, body hurts a bit, doctor visits seem to increase and now he has fingers up your arse.

I have been shopping for a sports car for 3 years now, that's been keeping me going, i do wonder once i finally pull the trigger, what's driving me? I mean other than covering the kids education costs which are tenth of what they are in the USA.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

Joekerr , I'm no doctor but it seems you are having issues managing stress and likely some depression. Our bodies interpret stress in the same way we interpret danger. Our primitive brain areas take over and we go into "fight", "flight", or "freeze" mode. When the work piles up to the point you arent able to manage, you freeze. You lose track of what you have promised, when its due, and you only focus on the immediate noise in front of you. I totally get that. I'm the same way. I find myself unable to work through the process of determining how we are doing on that complex problem with a tricky timeline that is critical to the business. So instead I find myself working on some low priority e-mail because it's right there in front of me and I can accomplish it immediately.

It takes some honest soul searching to sort things out. Maybe even a little professional counseling. For me, I re-organized one of my departments. I replaced some folks and re-arranged responsibilities. I realized I could not do and manage everything and was not using my team effectively because I didnt trust some of them to get the job done. I had to bring in people I trusted and lean on them to develop into the role, which they did. That in turn took pressure off me to focus on the higher value things my company needs me focused on. The relief and mental sanity gained from it has been monumental.

You're in a bit of a different situation being self-employed. Sounds like you're a CPA perhaps? Can you look to offload some clients? Focus on the high-value, high return clients. Or maybe if you are really in trouble you dump the big guys that soak up all your time and do a year of focusing on the easy clients. Can you hire a jr. accountant to shadow you and take some of the easy stuff off your plate? Whatever it is, you cant just put your head down and "try harder." What you are doing now isnt working so dont wast time beating yourself up over it. Instead, focus on what you need to change to buy you some sanity.

My wife is self employed as well. She owns and operates a small medical practice focused on family medicine. She was busting her ass for every patient, regardless of their insurance coverage. Some patients have top-tier insurance that reimburses my wife well. Others have shit insurance that reimburses my wife as little as $40 for an hour of her time. She made the move earlier this year to funnel all new patients with crap insurance over to one of her jr. doctors and only focus her time and efforts on the patients with insurance that can pay the bills. it sounds harsh, but medicine is a business and for hers to survive she had to make changes. The point is, sometimes you are so deep in the thick of it you cant see the path out. You need to take a BIG step back and reassess the whole thing.

This is helpful, I'll have to think over this some more. I have considered paring down the practice, there are definitely some low return / high work clients, but not too many. And yes, I'm a CPA. Thanks...I have wondered if it could be some slight form of depression. Part of it I'm sure is that I haven't really gotten to go on a true vacation (where it is warm) in over 2 years. Really dragging on me.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I have wondered if it could be some slight form of depression. Part of it I'm sure is that I haven't really gotten to go on a true vacation (where it is warm) in over 2 years. Really dragging on me.

We all love this country, great place and all but FUCK ME the weather is abysmal. You literally lose at least a 3rd of your life tolerating the weather, it is hard to enjoy much anything December through march. Sure you can do your best to get out and you have greats individual days but it is so relentlessly cold/grey/wet/dour that it just GRINDS you down. Then it rains all fucking April and May teases you then does a week at 8 degrees and you're like FUCK, it's been best part of 6 months since we hit 20 degrees.

We go home every 2 years, it is great. Right over Xmas so can stay for near a month, we stop over in Hawaii then go home flush over the centre of summer.

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

This is helpful, I'll have to think over this some more. I have considered paring down the practice, there are definitely some low return / high work clients, but not too many. And yes, I'm a CPA. Thanks...I have wondered if it could be some slight form of depression. Part of it I'm sure is that I haven't really gotten to go on a true vacation (where it is warm) in over 2 years. Really dragging on me.

Have you considered going to work for a CPA firm or one of the accounting/tax consulting firms? I know that compared to having your own business, working for someone else could feel like it sucks, but if you are overwhelmed and stressed without vacation and have the pressure of taking care of your employee, getting a structured company gig with benefits and vacation could be a good thing.

At least check out the CPA-related job opportunities in your neck of the woods. See what's out there.

[Tommy-G]

Having a terribly hard time today, its 81 degrees. The weather is perfect, not a cloud in the sky. Its a new month and no crunch to close bills toady

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

Have you considered going to work for a CPA firm or one of the accounting/tax consulting firms? I know that compared to having your own business, working for someone else could feel like it sucks, but if you are overwhelmed and stressed without vacation and have the pressure of taking care of your employee, getting a structured company gig with benefits and vacation could be a good thing.

At least check out the CPA-related job opportunities in your neck of the woods. See what's out there.

Been there, done that. Was a senior manager with Deloitte, but the grind would have destroyed my marriage so I quit about 8 years ago.

I agree - being an employee would solve some of my issues, but it would create new ones. My wife is a doctor and fairly busy, so I started my own business so I could be the flexible one when it comes to kids and that. Though she works extremely hard so that she is more than an equal part when it comes to taking care of them really.

And right now, if we were to fly anywhere out of the country, we'd have to quarantine for two weeks as I recall when we get back. Good luck getting an employer to sign off on 10 day vacation plus another two weeks when I'm back.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

Having a terribly hard time today, its 81 degrees. The weather is perfect, not a cloud in the sky. Its a new month and no crunch to close bills toady

-10C here. Just know that I'm still fricking hoping for that crocodile to get you.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

-10C here. Just know that I'm still fricking hoping for that ALLIGATOR to get you.

I'm OK with this. I have been here 6 years and not seen one up close. There is a state park about 40 minutes away where they are rampant but we have not been.

My coworker turned a corner about 20 years ago (pre-population influx) and totalled his Escort hitting one crossing the road

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

I'm OK with this. I have been here 6 years and not seen one up close. There is a state park about 40 minutes away where they are rampant but we have not been.

My coworker turned a corner about 20 years ago (pre-population influx) and totalled his Escort hitting one crossing the road

Let me guess - the alligator just shrugged off the Escort and wandered into the swamp? Guess it would depend where it got hit and how big though.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Let me guess - the alligator just shrugged off the Escort and wandered into the swamp? Guess it would depend where it got hit and how big though.

He said he "took care of it"
Every Friday he wears these fancy gator shoes and belt but I assume they have nothing to with the story

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Been there, done that. Was a senior manager with Deloitte, but the grind would have destroyed my marriage so I quit about 8 years ago.

I agree - being an employee would solve some of my issues, but it would create new ones. My wife is a doctor and fairly busy, so I started my own business so I could be the flexible one when it comes to kids and that. Though she works extremely hard so that she is more than an equal part when it comes to taking care of them really.

And right now, if we were to fly anywhere out of the country, we'd have to quarantine for two weeks as I recall when we get back. Good luck getting an employer to sign off on 10 day vacation plus another two weeks when I'm back.

I have one last idea. With a CPA and Deloitte experience, plus the experience you've gained on your own, you could add a partner or join an existing boutique firm that already has clients and structure but without the crazy pressure cooker environment of the big firms. Your talents would be perfect. There is nothing like a little peer pressure to keep you motivated!

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

I have one last idea. With a CPA and Deloitte experience, plus the experience you've gained on your own, you could add a partner or join an existing boutique firm that already has clients and structure but without the crazy pressure cooker environment of the big firms. Your talents would be perfect. There is nothing like a little peer pressure to keep you motivated!

Ooooooor... he could sell all his worldly possessions and retire to a hut in the woods where he never has to work again. Other than going out for the occasional polar bear hunt (is that what they eat in Canada?) of course.

That's my plan anyways if I ever have to go back to a regular office job.

[bosstones]

Is burn out a possibility?

[Sedan_Clan]

Yep! Me and my colleagues all over the country are struggling with motivation and many are on the cusp of leaving the field on a daily basis.

[tom2021]

I work for the same company for 19 years.
I bought a jacuzzi hot tub and have a vacation in the backyard everyday and several times in the weekend.
I drives my bimmer around after coming home from work.
I keep telling my wife, without these two I am in depression already.

[hubbahubba]

I worked for the same company for the last 15 years of "my working for somebody else" life. It is pertinent as in 2014, my wife and I quit our employee status, and opened our own restaurant, which was in her field of expertise, not mine. After a year working our butts off every day, I got a call to go back and do another project for my former employer. Sure, I'll take a paycheck and insurance again! It was supposed to be a 2 year gig, and honestly I was (I thought) bored out of my mind working in a restaurant. I was there for 3-1/2 more years instead of the 2 years promised. Several points:

1) I did hit the wall in motivation on the first stint around 10 years in. It was towards the end of 2012. I had never had a problem with that before in my life, and since I still had bills to pay, it felt like I was trapped. Totally get that feeling.

2) For the year I was at the restaurant prior to returning to my former job, getting up and going in every day except Christmas to open the place at 5:00AM got really old, and I think led to my angst, but really it just wasn't what I thought I wanted to do. I was wrong.

3) After being self employed for a year, and not having anybody but my wife tell me (read suggest to me from her experience) what to do for a year, having a corporate boss who had higher ups telling him what to do pretty much sucked. I knew how to do my job very well, and had more experience than him in the particular project I was called back to do. The shine was off the nickel in about 3 months of going back. It was fun at first, and for the most part I was left alone to do my job, but having to satisfy corporate was a real bummer. I loved the company and the people as they took great care of me and my family for a long time, and I still appreciate them for that. But the 2 year project was at 3-1/2 and heading for 4-1/2, so I left and went back to work with my wife. That was April 2019. The cool thing was that the business had grown and we didn't have to be there at 5:00am every day. There are still days I go in early, but not every day. If you were to go back to a corporate world, just a heads up that after working for your self for so long, it may not be the same for you as it was before. It's good to be the king.

In any case, I hope you find the solution to your situation. And as was mentioned, Pray, give God what is God's, and Caeser what is Caeser's. HTH.