Fatherhood tips

Blake · 08-26-2010, 02:58 AM

i've fathered millions of babies in my lifetime. none of them survived.

Comet · 08-26-2010, 07:04 AM

that's my advice

742 · 08-26-2010, 07:54 AM

Congratulations.

I offer three suggestions.

1. Be the kind of person that you want your children to be. For example, since this is a car forum, you can not drive like a mindless idiot for 16 years and then expect your teenage driver to be something that you are not. Of course this applies to all aspects of life.

2. Never act in anger. Walk away, calm down and think.

3. Children understand the concept of "choice" from a very, very early age. Calmly explain the choices that face them, make them realistic and then follow through. You see parents failing at this all of the time, from empty threats made to screaming kids in a store to extreme, but still empty, threats made during the teenage years.

And I will also offer this. I have never laid a hand on my children. They are now 19 and 22, with good friends, excellent academic records and most importantly they are caring and compassionate people. The American practice of beating children is barbaric.

Trijicon · 08-26-2010, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkRider23

Make sure ya teach your kid the value of money too. Again, something people I know aren't doing or have not done. Most of my friends (18-21) are in credit card debt because their parents had a "I'm not going to teach my kid anything about money." Debt comes cheap. Getting out of it, doesn't.

Great advise, thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tortfeasor 335xi

In all seriousness though, just spend time with the kids, teach them as much as you can, and love them for who they are.

Will do

oh about the nanny, would be nice, but I don't need that temptation

Quote:

Originally Posted by scollins

If you have a boy, you have one penis to worry about. (Where he puts it and how much trouble it will cause.)
If you have a girl, you have to worry about ALL of them!

So true! I'm stealing this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blake

i've fathered millions of babies in my lifetime. none of them survived.

Nice! if tissues can get pregnant, you'd be in trouble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comet

that's my advice

Quote:

Originally Posted by 742

Congratulations.

I offer three suggestions.

1. Be the kind of person that you want your children to be. For example, since this is a car forum, you can not drive like a mindless idiot for 16 years and then expect your teenage driver to be something that you are not. Of course this applies to all aspects of life.

2. Never act in anger. Walk away, calm down and think.

3. Children understand the concept of "choice" from a very, very early age. Calmly explain the choices that face them, make them realistic and then follow through. You see parents failing at this all of the time, from empty threats made to screaming kids in a store to extreme, but still empty, threats made during the teenage years.

And I will also offer this. I have never laid a hand on my children. They are now 19 and 22, with good friends, excellent academic records and most importantly they are caring and compassionate people. The American practice of beating children is barbaric.

1) Great advise, thanks
2) This I have to prepare for
3) I know what you mean, my niece and nephew are brats because of the no follow up.

dcgolfdr · 08-26-2010, 10:45 AM

Enjoy the milestones as they happen. Your child will laugh for the first time only once, will roll over for the first time only once, will sit up for the first time only once, and on and on. Enjoy these little moments.

graider · 08-26-2010, 11:11 AM

Congrat man.

a little about myself. I was 19 and she was 17, high school sweetheart. we dated for 2 years and she got pregnant by accident. I decided to marry her and had our first son at 21. it was a real challenge because I just completed college and she just completed high school. we were not ready financially, mentally, etc....So i ended up going to work, go home help her with the kid, she went to university after spending a year with the boy. we had to rely on my lowly income for 5 years and I had to pay her tution, etc. but we made it out in one piece and we just had our daughter last year at 27. Now i'm 28 and I have a 7 years old boy and 1 year old daughter. my wife had a bachelor degree in nursing and now we are working full force to pay the mortgage. I took the rough road, i know.

look back on my situation, i think you will be just fine since you both are at the right age and financially stable. remember to be very patience and love your kids as much as you can because they are the cutest when they are young and you will never get that back again once they pass that age. I still regret to this day that i didn't spend more time/pay more attention to my son when he was a little baby. now i'm more ready with my daughter and I just wish that I can turn back time so I can do thing that I'm doing with my daughter right now. love your wife unconditionally because she will go through lot of emotion after the baby especially the first one, she can be mad, crying, going a little crazy. just try encourage and be there for her. help your wife take care of the baby as much as you can especially the first 3 months where she is not fully recovered. so it is not really good for her to walk around too much or do heavy task. you will need to handle most of the tasks that she used to do before in the house.

enjoy and remember to take lot of pic/video as much as you can. this is the best moment and later in life you will love it when you look back at pic/video of your kids.

graider · 08-26-2010, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scollins

I've got two daughters, but I'm too tired and/or lazy right now to lavish a lot of fatherly advice. I can share this bit of wisdom however....

If you have a boy, you have one penis to worry about. (Where he puts it and how much trouble it will cause.)
If you have a girl, you have to worry about ALL of them!

LOL. this is not true though, boy can be trouble as well. drug, jail, gang, make someone pregnant and pay for it dearly (like me).

Cosmop · 08-26-2010, 11:43 AM

Congratz...I have a three year old boy and expecting a second boy in about two weeks.

Just some practical advice... don't under estimate the sleep depravation of the first few months. My wife and I were all worried about changing dirty dippers but once the baby got here, dippers were easy, we were blind sided by sleep depravation. It gets easier after about three months but you need to work out night shifts between you and your wife so you can get blocks of good sleep.

DougLikesBMW · 08-26-2010, 12:00 PM

P.S. Don't let your wife use getting pregnant as an excuse to be fat for the rest of her life...she can start exercising 6-8 weeks after having the baby.

UncleWede · 08-26-2010, 06:17 PM

Congrats!

Sleep now, it won't come again for several months after

Be a part of your kid's life. Coach, go to school meetings, know what happens at school. Work is NOT more important than your kid.

If you have a boy, kiss him good night EVERY NIGHT. My father is a serious homophobe and won't even give my son a hug. But I kiss him, at least on the forehead, every night when we say our prayers before bed.

Oh, and work is NOT more important than you kid.

Do NOT get jealous of the attention your wife lavishes on your child. She still loves you, even when she blames you in the delivery room for getting her pregnant

Did I mention work is NOT more important than your kid?

08-26-2010, 02:58 AM	#23
Blake Banned 795 Rep 4,647 Posts Drives: Chevy Aveo Join Date: May 2008 Location: Parent's Basement iTrader: (7)	i've fathered millions of babies in my lifetime. none of them survived.
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08-26-2010, 07:04 AM	#24
Comet Troll Harder 403 Rep 596 Posts Drives: 997 GT3, 997 4 GTS, X6M Join Date: May 2007 Location: Montreal, Beirut iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 Porsche GT3 [8.00] 2012 Porsche 4 GTS [5.34]	that's my advice __________________
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08-26-2010, 07:54 AM	#25
742 Major 13 Rep 1,187 Posts Drives: E90 325i; F10 528i; 2002tii Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: PA iTrader: (0)	Congratulations. I offer three suggestions. 1. Be the kind of person that you want your children to be. For example, since this is a car forum, you can not drive like a mindless idiot for 16 years and then expect your teenage driver to be something that you are not. Of course this applies to all aspects of life. 2. Never act in anger. Walk away, calm down and think. 3. Children understand the concept of "choice" from a very, very early age. Calmly explain the choices that face them, make them realistic and then follow through. You see parents failing at this all of the time, from empty threats made to screaming kids in a store to extreme, but still empty, threats made during the teenage years. And I will also offer this. I have never laid a hand on my children. They are now 19 and 22, with good friends, excellent academic records and most importantly they are caring and compassionate people. The American practice of beating children is barbaric.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-26-2010, 10:45 AM	#27
dcgolfdr Wheelsucker 204 Rep 1,280 Posts Drives: Truck Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Arlington, VA iTrader: (16)	Enjoy the milestones as they happen. Your child will laugh for the first time only once, will roll over for the first time only once, will sit up for the first time only once, and on and on. Enjoy these little moments.
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08-26-2010, 11:11 AM	#28
graider Colonel 35 Rep 2,406 Posts Drives: py/kiwi e46 m3 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: toronto iTrader: (0)	Congrat man. a little about myself. I was 19 and she was 17, high school sweetheart. we dated for 2 years and she got pregnant by accident. I decided to marry her and had our first son at 21. it was a real challenge because I just completed college and she just completed high school. we were not ready financially, mentally, etc....So i ended up going to work, go home help her with the kid, she went to university after spending a year with the boy. we had to rely on my lowly income for 5 years and I had to pay her tution, etc. but we made it out in one piece and we just had our daughter last year at 27. Now i'm 28 and I have a 7 years old boy and 1 year old daughter. my wife had a bachelor degree in nursing and now we are working full force to pay the mortgage. I took the rough road, i know. look back on my situation, i think you will be just fine since you both are at the right age and financially stable. remember to be very patience and love your kids as much as you can because they are the cutest when they are young and you will never get that back again once they pass that age. I still regret to this day that i didn't spend more time/pay more attention to my son when he was a little baby. now i'm more ready with my daughter and I just wish that I can turn back time so I can do thing that I'm doing with my daughter right now. love your wife unconditionally because she will go through lot of emotion after the baby especially the first one, she can be mad, crying, going a little crazy. just try encourage and be there for her. help your wife take care of the baby as much as you can especially the first 3 months where she is not fully recovered. so it is not really good for her to walk around too much or do heavy task. you will need to handle most of the tasks that she used to do before in the house. enjoy and remember to take lot of pic/video as much as you can. this is the best moment and later in life you will love it when you look back at pic/video of your kids. Last edited by graider; 08-26-2010 at 11:16 AM..
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08-26-2010, 11:43 AM	#30
Cosmop Private First Class 40 Rep 141 Posts Drives: 2009 E90 335i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Houston, TX iTrader: (0)	Congratz...I have a three year old boy and expecting a second boy in about two weeks. Just some practical advice... don't under estimate the sleep depravation of the first few months. My wife and I were all worried about changing dirty dippers but once the baby got here, dippers were easy, we were blind sided by sleep depravation. It gets easier after about three months but you need to work out night shifts between you and your wife so you can get blocks of good sleep.
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08-26-2010, 12:00 PM	#31
DougLikesBMW Fapmin 435 Rep 2,660 Posts Drives: '03 E46 330Ci Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Plano, Texas iTrader: (0)	P.S. Don't let your wife use getting pregnant as an excuse to be fat for the rest of her life...she can start exercising 6-8 weeks after having the baby.
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08-26-2010, 06:17 PM	#32
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 18405 Rep 9,422 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	Congrats! Sleep now, it won't come again for several months after Be a part of your kid's life. Coach, go to school meetings, know what happens at school. Work is NOT more important than your kid. If you have a boy, kiss him good night EVERY NIGHT. My father is a serious homophobe and won't even give my son a hug. But I kiss him, at least on the forehead, every night when we say our prayers before bed. Oh, and work is NOT more important than you kid. Do NOT get jealous of the attention your wife lavishes on your child. She still loves you, even when she blames you in the delivery room for getting her pregnant Did I mention work is NOT more important than your kid?
	Appreciate 0 Quote