[Yapakanichi]

Problems were pre-covid...I guess it's just a coincidence. we're working on things.

[MPOWER5266]

Originally Posted by essejM3

Congrats, my twin boys are almost 13 now. They were small, they sent one of them home with us on time at 4lbs. He is now the most jacked up 12 year old you would have ever seen, so don't worry about hem being small at first. It goes fast, enjoy them!

My daughter is a little over 5lbs and my son is just under 5lbs. Im 6'4" and 300lbs so Im sure they will get bigger but I hope my daughter takes after my wife. Haha.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 2000cs

On my second marriage, 8 years on Monday. The first one only lasted 33 years and a few months, but it was in the 32nd year that my now-ex failed the test Soul-Glo’s passed (well, a similar test).

For me, the small things that seem to matter in the moment really aren’t worth getting upset over - at the same time, being small, they should be easy to change. If my wife tells me she doesn’t like me clicking a pen over and over, for example, I think I could stop. But I am kind of addicted to breathing.

I have a mental role model, since my parents were a terrible couple marriage-wise. The model is a bit romanticized, but it is the couple that owns a corner market 100 years ago. They work the market all day, then go upstairs to work the house, taking care of the kids, and possibly parents, all the while. They don’t complain, don’t have social security, don’t have much. But they have each other, family and, to them, a good life. I think to myself, if they could find peace and happiness and enjoy life together, surely I can do the same with the many economic advantages I have over them. Maybe that is the problem: the economic advantages and their pursuit gets in the way of a good life.

My wife has her quirks and annoyances, and I tell her gently about the ones that get under my skin. She tries to do better. But I won’t let them, or my reaction to them, come between us. And if she mentions one of my legion of faults (some of which I can acknowledge), I try to do better.

I’ve been working at home 2 days a week and at the office 3 since March. My home office fortunately is a separate room in the basement (lower level if you have money, I’m told). I don’t see her much when I’m working, so it isn’t very different from my office days.

I’m going to retire soon, and she is concerned about too much time together, which might be the core of Lups’ concern. We are going to sell the house and move to a smaller place at the beach, but I’ll be active in some, or many ways. That will give us time to our selves as well as time together, which really is rare and precious when I’m working (and traveling) full time. The new house is big enough for us to have “separate corners” - one of her requirements, and a good one.

The little things, petty annoyances, should flow like water off a duck’s back. There is really no reason to let them change my attitude and ruin what otherwise is a very good life.

But Lups, neither of us is an engineer and I can’t imagine that horror. I work with engineers all day and that is surely enough penance for whatever sins I committed earlier in life!

Wow, this is adulting done perfectly! Well done, sir!

To be fair, life before covid meant kissing the kids goodbye when they left to school and then I went and blew up (literally) some corner of the house. I'm in the middle of a big renovation. Imagine heavy metal and drills screaming. When the kids got home, I made lunch with them and then go do the shit I do to pay for the reno. Hubby came home at six and then I did my rounds for the shit I needed for the next day. I miss getting shit done the most, I feel lazy now that i can only haul my tools out for a breather in the weekends.

My friends and i had a lovely chat about our husband's and their annoying ways yesterday but let's be clear, we all are very aware how little we have to complain.

[Savageenterprise]

Originally Posted by dmk08

I have been locked in a house with my wife going through her first pregnancy. I just keep my head down and pay bills....

I have been locked in a house with my wife going though her second pregnancy. I just keep my head down and pay bills with a 2.5 yr old throwing tantrums and screaming, laughing, playing and making lots of noise as I try to run two businesses from home. It's madness!

[2000cs]

Originally Posted by Lups

Wow, this is adulting done perfectly! Well done, sir!

To be fair, life before covid meant kissing the kids goodbye when they left to school and then I went and blew up (literally) some corner of the house. I'm in the middle of a big renovation. Imagine heavy metal and drills screaming. When the kids got home, I made lunch with them and then go do the shit I do to pay for the reno. Hubby came home at six and then I did my rounds for the shit I needed for the next day. I miss getting shit done the most, I feel lazy now that i can only haul my tools out for a breather in the weekends.

My friends and i had a lovely chat about our husband's and their annoying ways yesterday but let's be clear, we all are very aware how little we have to complain.

I appreciate the compliment, but my life is full of mistakes. I’ve learned from a few of them, and I think I do better now, but I’m no saint and no role model.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Savageenterprise

I have been locked in a house with my wife going though her second pregnancy. I just keep my head down and pay bills with a 2.5 yr old throwing tantrums and screaming, laughing, playing and making lots of noise as I try to run two businesses from home. It's madness!

A few tips.

1 go to bed early, wake up around three so you'll have time to do shit before others wake up. Coffee will be your bestie since going to bed early will never happen.

2. Nap. When the kid goes down, you do too.

3. Footrubs. Make the wife give you every day and within a week you'll be single again.

These tips are coming from a relationship guru who ended up buying the spouse an 85" tv a week ago as an apology for being a raving bitch. He wanted to work for money, I wanted to blow up a wall so naturally since it was a friday and all, I felt like he destroyed my life with his phone conferences and fucked off to the cabin for the day.

I know... I should publish books on the topic.

[Alfisti]

Mine should have been over years ago but I refused to bail or I fear she'd turn the kids against me. I also have two boys and fear the wife and possibly the inevitable new guy will raise soft beta males. They need guidance to trust themselves, to follow their instinct and not take the easy route like i did, they will not get that from her.

The pandemic has improved things as I have my shit sorted included an escape route, rural hideaway if needed. Part of her must have realised for all my apparent faults I am safe as houses.

I am not convinced we will stick together forever but right now there is relative peace after years of absolute conflict.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 2000cs

I appreciate the compliment, but my life is full of mistakes. I’ve learned from a few of them, and I think I do better now, but I’m no saint and no role model.

Good god, none of us are! This thread is just us to sum up our mistakes and to have a laugh at our own expense!

My sister says my only redeeming quality is that I own up to fucking up this much. She should know, once I stole her dog and didnt notice for three days while she was going nuts. In another ten years, she might laugh with me when others tell that story.

[dreamingat30fps]

While I'm technically not married, me and my gf have been together and live together for 15 years so.... I'm basically married. Honestly I'm soooo glad I'm not single whenever I come here and read the dating/relationship threads. Seems everyone out there is psychotic.

I have been working from home for like 4 years. She has also been working from home 90% of the time for like 2 or 3 years so the rona didn't change much in that regard. We also travel around for 3-6 months at a time in a 32 foot rv (before rona) soooo being together in the house is cake walk. The only "fights" we have had in recent memory is maybe twice when trying to back in said rv into very tight spots and she's trying to guide me. The fight typically involves us not talking for the remainder of the day/night and then forgetting about it the next day.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by dreamingat30fps

While I'm technically not married, me and my gf have been together and live together for 15 years so.... I'm basically married. Honestly I'm soooo glad I'm not single whenever I come here and read the dating/relationship threads. Seems everyone out there is psychotic.

I have been working from home for like 4 years. She has also been working from home 90% of the time for like 2 or 3 years so the rona didn't change much in that regard. We also travel around for 3-6 months at a time in a 32 foot rv (before rona) soooo being together in the house is cake walk. The only "fights" we have had in recent memory is maybe twice when trying to back in said rv into very tight spots and she's trying to guide me. The fight typically involves us not talking for the remainder of the day/night and then forgetting about it the next day.

Paperwork at that point.
My husband wants an Alfa Romeo. Nobody knows why since he doesn't drive. Motor vehicles man... I swear those will be the end of us too.

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by Lups

Paperwork at that point.
My husband wants an Alfa Romeo. Nobody knows why since he doesn't drive. Motor vehicles man... I swear those will be the end of us too.

I buy whatever I want. Can't imagine having someone tell me what I can and cannot buy. We do have separate accounts though so I guess that makes it easier.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by Murf993

Or get some good takeaway, pick up some flowers, set the table and put on some Barry White.

Wifey would like the take-out. Flowers and Barry White? Not so much.

[Murf993]

Originally Posted by M_Six

Wifey would like the take-out. Flowers and Barry White? Not so much.

To each their own, I'm sure you know what buttons to push.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Lups

Wow, this is adulting done perfectly! Well done, sir!

To be fair, life before covid meant kissing the kids goodbye when they left to school and then I went and blew up (literally) some corner of the house. I'm in the middle of a big renovation. Imagine heavy metal and drills screaming. When the kids got home, I made lunch with them and then go do the shit I do to pay for the reno. Hubby came home at six and then I did my rounds for the shit I needed for the next day. I miss getting shit done the most, I feel lazy now that i can only haul my tools out for a breather in the weekends.

My friends and i had a lovely chat about our husband's and their annoying ways yesterday but let's be clear, we all are very aware how little we have to complain.

How I imagine most Finnish men...because its sort of how I behave too...

[Lups]

Originally Posted by dreamingat30fps

I buy whatever I want. Can't imagine having someone tell me what I can and cannot buy. We do have separate accounts though so I guess that makes it easier.

He has zero interest in cars, we don't even need a car except for our trusted dog hauler here. The man does not drive, at all where as I have had over the years project cars, I've fucked around with them with my friends and I do road trips. When I sold Peter and never replaced it, we've had a standoff with this.

I'm waiting for our eldest to want to learn about cars and how to build one, hell, our second oldest is more likely to want to do this shit with me. Both can drive already but only the 12 year old has the spark for them.

The last time the man bought a car, it was a Q7. He has no passion for cars. The only reason for him to get one again would be to make me buy one again. It would be rotting on our yard.

I don't like wasting money. Even if it's his money, I don't think that's the way to go. The man has driven a car like 2 k km while we've been married. That's 15 years. That's it.

The romeo will become a problem since it'll break down and then I'll feel connected to it and then I'll spend a gazillion keeping him going. I tend to love the designs in those. This isn't about him buying a car to be clear, he just thinks I should buy one.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

How I imagine most Finnish men...because its sort of how I behave too...

I see my old palls gathering. This thread will get fishy shortly.

[Joekerr]

Marriage is far from easy, there are some real down times for sure. For me, most of them can be attributed to pride though if you distill it right down. And pride isn't necessarily a good thing, though it can be a strong thing. I think it can be both bad and good...up to us to sort out which type we're experiencing at the moment.

But there are a lot of up times as well, more than there are downs. And I really value her company and insights. Even if most times I don't mention that. Which I know is something I should work on - I'm pretty much a mute when it comes to her good qualities in terms of how much I mention it to her. But I'm not shy about expressing my concerns, so its pretty lop sided and not fair.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by M_Six

Wifey would like the take-out. Flowers and Barry White? Not so much.

Does anyone REALLY like Barry White? I mean aside from easy women from the 80's?

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by Lups

He has zero interest in cars, we don't even need a car except for our trusted dog hauler here. The man does not drive, at all where as I have had over the years project cars, I've fucked around with them with my friends and I do road trips. When I sold Peter and never replaced it, we've had a standoff with this.

I'm waiting for our eldest to want to learn about cars and how to build one, hell, our second oldest is more likely to want to do this shit with me. Both can drive already but only the 12 year old has the spark for them.

The last time the man bought a car, it was a Q7. He has no passion for cars. The only reason for him to get one again would be to make me buy one again. It would be rotting on our yard.

I don't like wasting money. Even if it's his money, I don't think that's the way to go. The man has driven a car like 2 k km while we've been married. That's 15 years. That's it.

The romeo will become a problem since it'll break down and then I'll feel connected to it and then I'll spend a gazillion keeping him going. I tend to love the designs in those. This isn't about him buying a car to be clear, he just thinks I should buy one.

Hmmmmm.... so what I'm hearing is YOU want an Alfa. Your husband is pushing you to get an Alfa, but you know it will be a money pit so you're pinning it on him.... I have a feeling an Alfa will soon be purchased and when it becomes a money pit you will let your husband know what a horrible decision he has made purchasing YOUR Alfa.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Marriage is far from easy, there are some real down times for sure. For me, most of them can be attributed to pride though if you distill it right down. And pride isn't necessarily a good thing, though it can be a strong thing. I think it can be both bad and good...up to us to sort out which type we're experiencing at the moment.

But there are a lot of up times as well, more than there are downs. And I really value her company and insights. Even if most times I don't mention that. Which I know is something I should work on - I'm pretty much a mute when it comes to her good qualities in terms of how much I mention it to her. But I'm not shy about expressing my concerns, so its pretty lop sided and not fair.

Dude, this is the moustache liking thread, who dis?

Agreed. On all of this, with a but of course.

Finding my shortcomings is easy. Most of those also end up being stories our kids will share with their kids when explaining what not to do.

But seriously, I could hot wax his face tonight after he falls asleep. He can buy an AR tomorrow and I'd just figure out a way to build a car from what ever lands in my yard.

So the but:

You know how ridiculously bad people like you with real problem solving and writing abilities make us whiners like me look like? Fuck you too.



Good seeing you around, old friend. I've missed you!

[Lups]

Originally Posted by dreamingat30fps

Hmmmmm.... so what I'm hearing is YOU want an Alfa. Your husband is pushing you to get an Alfa, but you know it will be a money pit so you're pinning it on him.... I have a feeling an Alfa will soon be purchased and when it becomes a money pit you will let your husband know what a horrible decision he has made purchasing YOUR Alfa.

I fucking hate you. You're a horrible person and I hope your hemorrhoids will get inflated!

I'd buy a classic so I could spend 4 years rebuilding it with the kids. Splatter movies with the dad, racing with mom.

Neh, the hubby loved Peter, the M4 I had there. He drove it once for 4 miles. Unfortunately, Peter was too reliable for me to keep. It lacked the spark only a car that let's you down keeps going.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Does anyone REALLY like Barry White? I mean aside from easy women from the 80's?

Not even them. Anyone sane listens to Danzig when they need to get all tingly and hot.

Judi, I've missed you my girl!