[lopealle]

Originally Posted by radix

trickin? you must be the resident black guy.

Bro you know nothing has changed since you left. OP is sending chics money and shit. FUCK THAT!!

[radix]

Originally Posted by lopealle

Bro you know nothing has changed since you left. OP is sending chics money and shit. FUCK THAT!!

Actually, a lot has changed since I left. But some things never change...

[lopealle]

Originally Posted by radix

Actually, a lot has changed since I left. But some things never change...

Your right

[Shermanator2411]

OP definitely ditch the NYC chick... if she doesn't appreciate you making special trips from Toronto to see her then how else are you supposed to make her happy and more importantly make YOU happy. It's not all about them guys get to be happy too.

As for the chick under your nose, give her an ultimatum (sp?)... if she does in deed want to be with you then get rid of the dude she's seeing... if not get lost and don't look back. If she "wants to be with you" and "the other guy isn't serious" wouldn't she break it off with him and be with you?

[Wakka]

Originally Posted by karkid

Never thought of this, going online to ask for advice but i guess its worth a shot. maybe this isn't the section to be posting in.

Anyways Names Andrew, i'm 21.

I'm in need of some advice. i'll try and keep this short. In January of this year i met this girl when a bunch of my friends and I went on vacation together. She was a friend of a friend who decided to come along for the trip. I'm in Toronto, She lives in NYC... we talked on the trip and this girl was different for me. All of my friends Knew that i liked her they could tell how hard i was trying. we talked a lot over the course of the trip and it seemed that we had both recently got out of long relationships. i was over mine. Don't think she was over her's though. Anyways we went our separate ways. we kept in touch though. texting once in a while to more often, to everyday all day, Skype Sessions every night.

Started talking a lot she knew how i felt about her but i liked her so didn't want to push anything. we kept talking, then about a month or so after the vacation, i was heading to new york to see family so i told her and we got together i didn't have much time ... but i got to see her. Continued talking, when i got back and everything was going well. So she decided to come down to toronto during the summer she had 2 weeks free. Came down stayed at a friends place, because i wasn't sure how to pull that off at home. i tried really hard to show her the best time i could in while she was visiting but it was just like the harder i tried to keep her happy the harder she tried to push me away. friends and family kept telling me they didn't get a good vibe from her. I ignored it. A lot of drama. Anyways i went on vacation in july, and things were rough we was fighting about everything i don't know why. something happened, between her and my sister and she sent me a text saying i'm done can't do this anymore. We didn't talk. i ended up in hospital shortly after my trip and knowing that she has contact with my friends ... she didn't even bother finding out once if i was ok or anything.

as usual i let everything go never said anything. Found out in October i was going for a cousins wedding. which apparently she was also going to be at and it was her birthday the same day. Saw her the first day i got there. didn't even bother trying to say anything, kept our distance both of us. got back from new york. and sent her an apology message for hurting her for whatever i did wrong and wishing her happy birthday. (that was all i had intended on it being, felt like i was finally getting over her) she ... picked up right were we left off like nothing had happened. She talked though. Said she missed me she was just so angry and my friends she couldn't handle the drama. currently were still talking i've been chasing her for almost a year now. I'm a nice guy i paid for a lot of her stuff. never once did i care about the money though. (Used to send her money). Anyways. while all this was going on a friend of mine, was getting closer to me. i was there for her though the summer during her breakup... and when i got out the hospital till about last week we spent nearly everyday together just hanging out i don't know what it was. we used to hang out id talk about the other girl. She would tell me she met this guy and i thought nothing of it. One day she broke down, saying why don't you realize she's not the girl for u ... she doesn't even care about u. we had a huge argument. Saw her the next day she was drunk i picked her up, and she kissed me. After that my eyes opened up. this girl has been in front of me the whole time. She makes me happy and all my friends like her, i'm not stressed out and upset like i was with the other girl. the thing is though i told her how i feel. how i started liking her, and she through something back in my face. I had told her when she first told me about the other guy she met don't break his heart. She said that to me one night when i said to her I'm gonna show u what a real date is like. at the end of the night she told me this was wrong we can't keep doing this. She was like the feelings are mutual i like you too. we wouldn't have spent everyday for the past few months together otherwise. She always lies to the other guy when she's with me ( it wasn't an issue before because we were just friends) now i want to be more. i don't know what she wants though. I don't know what to do, because i think i love the other girl. i'm so confused. I've been chasing her for a year. and she's 500 miles away... i don't know what to do.


Sorry if that was long. Its been a hectic year, and i'm confused. need advice... feel like i had the perfect girl in front of me this whole time and i didn't see it .. now i see it and i can't have her. i even asked her if the other dude wasn't in the picture and i asked you out would you say yes. She said yes. They aren't serious though. she she's him once in a while she's with me all the time.

i feel like i should back off at the same time though.. NO clue what to do..

if i left anything out i'm sorry LOL


THANK YOU!

holy shit did you fail. give a TL;DR

[Vanity]

The replies in this thread made my day!

OP, why the hell did you send money to a girl in NYC who isn't even your girlfriend? From what I gather, she just knew you were into her. You never told us about any time when you actually asked her into a relationship.

Man, OP you sound like you need more confidence. You reek of "desparado" longing for companionship. No girl wants desperado. Just, cool it off and understand you're going to find a girlfriend eventually (sounds like you don't know how to initiate a relationship, so I assume you're trying to start-up your first?). Go out and do some hobbies. You'll find someone really interesting by accident. Like a script off the silver screen. Blah Blah Blah.

I loved Radix's post the most

[Gregxi]

Thanks for the headache trying to read your post,

I think I understand, You want someone that does not want you, after showering her with cash and gifts and your time she could care less about you and your feelings but you still lust after this imaginary relationship.

You wrote it out and you still don't see it?

[chungdae]

I've said this in another thread:Truthfully, sounds like you need to work on your inner game before you talk to her. You shouldn't be shy talking to a girl; you should be projecting confidence and status the moment you walked into the party. Work on yourself (confidence, status, class, appearance) first before you make yourself look like a fool.

[1sikbmr]

fuck can we get some cliffs

[Q4P]

Wow; that was painful to read; I tried my best and still couldn't really understand.

[Robin_NL]

Originally Posted by 1sikbmr

fuck can we get some cliffs

[NYCGP]

Dude... you're a doormat. I am hungover as shit and there is no way I am making it through that whole block of text right now. But from the little bit I read, I am willing to guess you have never had any intimate relations with her. You tried to get her to like you by being her friend. The only thing that will do is make you her friend... not her boyfriend.

Sending her money!?!?!?!? Are you nuts!? I mean, I always thought I was overly generous. I would NEVER send someone money. You are being taken advantage of plain and simple. You are also so blinded by this girl that you can't see that your friends and family think she is terrible. Which, btw, means she's probably not who you think she is.

That's as far as I got.. I will read chapter two when the advil kicks in..

[1sikbmr]

Originally Posted by Robin Hood

ok this was fucking funny

[3_runner]

I laughed at most of these comments, made my day too.

... To the OP, what do you want us to tell you kid? Keep it up, you're bound to score with the NYC chick. Or maybe, keep pursuing toronto broad, she is the one you truly deserve.

You're 21 years old. Ditch'em both and move on.

[M3Bahn]

Originally Posted by NYCGP

Dude... you're a doormat. I am hungover as shit and there is no way I am making it through that whole block of text right now. But from the little bit I read, I am willing to guess you have never had any intimate relations with her. You tried to get her to like you by being her friend. The only thing that will do is make you her friend... not her boyfriend.

Sending her money!?!?!?!? Are you nuts!? I mean, I always thought I was overly generous. I would NEVER send someone money. You are being taken advantage of plain and simple. You are also so blinded by this girl that you can't see that your friends and family think she is terrible. Which, btw, means she's probably not who you think she is.

That's as far as I got.. I will read chapter two when the advil kicks in..

Don't bother, it only gets worse!

[Mr Tonka]

I didn't read the whole thing. Ok, ok. I didn't read any of it. But that's because if you need girl advise from a car forum and you write that much; there is little to no hope for what ever relationship you're wanting. Meaning no one will give you advise that will get you the girl.

My advise, (without reading the book) ditch the girl and live for yourself for at least a year.

[nmulax]

Originally Posted by NYCGP

Dude... you're a doormat... from the little bit I read, I am willing to guess you have never had any intimate relations with her. You tried to get her to like you by being her friend. The only thing that will do is make you her friend... not her boyfriend.

Sending her money!?!?!?!? Are you nuts!? I mean, I always thought I was overly generous. I would NEVER send someone money. You are being taken advantage of plain and simple. You are also so blinded by this girl that you can't see that your friends and family think she is terrible. Which, btw, means she's probably not who you think she is.

THIS

I got the same feeling that the OP wasn't past the "friends" zone; let's be honest, if it didn't happen when she came to Toronto the first time, it's not happening. OP, you said she wasn't over her ex... and nightly Skype sessions? You became her grief counseling.

Just finished reading; is there a 2nd girl?
Dude, you need to stop being Mr. Nice Guy. Not saying be an unsympathetic ass; but telling her "don't break his heart"?! You dug your own grave. You should have told her something about how the most important thing she can do is find happiness - regardless of how it hurts someone else. By staying with him, she's hurting herself (if she is indeed unhappy).
Whatever it is, convey that she needs to make herself and her happiness priority #1. THEN you express that you're what makes her happy.

[NYCGP]

Read some more.... OP, you're a total creepster. You need to work on your self... a lot. Could really use some self-esteem and maybe a few more masculine friends.

[huyner328]

Advice from someone that's tried an LDR and that is, don't do it.

[JasonCSU]

Here's my advice. Don't even bother with the NYC girl, she's too far away anyway and definitely seemed to be using or taking advantage of you. Hopefully you're not still sending her money. As far as the girl right under your nose, don't try too hard with her, as it seems she doesn't know what she wants like many girls her age.

You could try to distance yourself a bit from the local girl as well and act a bit more standoffish. Don't be a total asshole to her, but let it be known that you are not interested in games. Basically, don't act like a puppy dog wagging your tail every time you see her. Who knows, that may cause her to be more interested in you or just want to be friends. There's nothing wrong with being 'just friends' with a girl and it is potentially a great way to meet more girls. You're young, so don't fret over it too much.

[Bobble]

OP - Wow punctuation son and and a few carriage returns would really help especially us old guys.

Number 1 - NYC she's just there to reap the benefits, you never give things to anyone other than family, if youy want to spend money on a girl do it where it's an advantage to both of you, IE a nice meal sure take her but you get a nice meal too not a girl friend out of it. Never ever ever works. Never give what does not directly and immediately benefit you if she's not your girl of wife.

Number 2 - Local girl, if she lies to her other "friend" what makes you think she won't lie to you. She's a lying scamming girl, leopeards do not change their spots. I was married to one of these for a long time before I realized this and it cost me dearly(financially and emotionally along with my kids).

Cliif notes from me dump them both and move on, get some confidence going and look for what makes you happy. You're 21 you should not be encumbered with this type of relationship crap. Good luck and with your demeanor I suggest you find good divorce attorneys now for use later.

[NYCGP]

Originally Posted by Bobble

......I suggest you find good divorce attorneys now for use later.

flawless...