08-22-2015, 07:09 AM | #45 | |
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All the best.
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Tony ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '07, e92 335i, Sparkling Graphite, Coral Leather, Aluminum, 6-speed |
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08-22-2015, 07:13 AM | #46 |
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And yet again we are given proof that there is no limit to what folks'll do for money.
All the best.
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Cheers,
Tony ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '07, e92 335i, Sparkling Graphite, Coral Leather, Aluminum, 6-speed |
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08-22-2015, 04:55 PM | #47 |
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"MAX VERSTAPPEN" IS THE 2021+2022+2023+2024 F1 WORLD CHAMPION - #UnLeashTheLion -
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08-22-2015, 04:59 PM | #48 |
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Tony..Don't believe my joke , was just kidding around .
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08-22-2015, 05:43 PM | #49 |
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08-22-2015, 07:26 PM | #50 |
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You bet ... The rest of you (and heck, even you Bimmette), gather around the fire as Uncle Nef tells you a story. Oh and yes, I AM using Comic Sans out of complete sarcasm to make it seem more story-like. Please play this in the background:
Once upon a time, there was a dashing young man named Ed, but known in his village of wagon owners as Nefarious or Nef. Nef was the happiest little elf of all. He began as a fat, stodgy, always-tired elf that was as healthy, lively, energetic, and joyful as ever, being able to fit into pant sizes he hasn't been able to wear since middle school after taking a homeopathic potion that enabled him to go below 200 lbs for the first time in his life. Nef had big, big dreams of moving from a hut on someone else's property into his own castle, and to oust his lazy, slovenly, mentally slow, spicy-foods-obsessed, and $20,000 bride price-demanding girlfriend the old heave-ho (see what I did there?) for a princess he dreamed about, rather than the peasant he randomly taken for companionship. One day, he was introduced to the Wicked Mayor, who told riveting tales of decent wages and eventually wealth beyond Nef's wild dreams, as well as the chance to become the other mayor of the Wicked Mayor's other village. "See how your wagon is not yours, but that of thine bank?" The Wicked Mayor proudly exclaimed, "You shall be able to own your car with the great wealth I shall bestow upon thee and even be able to obtain a new wagon with more horses next year!" Seeing that he had strong Christian values and his village dealt with the king and his knights, Nef did not suspect that the Wicked Boss' heart was as dark and shitty as a pile of meconium, and minimum wage for a fortnight was a very small price for a giant leap forward. Sadly, Nef's days were very bad. The Wicked Mayor would often start the day praying and speaking in tongue, gathering everyone to recite The Lord's Prayer (which one day Nef was heavily scolded for missing prayer, but that is only because his wench made dinner way too fucking spicy the night before), then the Wicked Mayor will transform into the form of a proceeding to witness him transform into an evil, despicable tyrant, taking the shape of a large rat. Nef was forced into the Evil Mayor's dungeon, which was often left very quiet and boring, watching boring cinemas that trained him on subjects that even his 5 year-old nephew can do. Nef formerly co-owned a village where all his elves helped him install magical devices where one person can talk to another person in kingdoms far, far away known as "PBX Telephones", but yet was quizzed for half an hour on the use of the very thing that he taught many elves, mayors and kings on how to use his magical device, which Nef felt was an insult of his intelligent. The Wicked Mayor also had a little game he liked to play called "micromanagement", where he would gather all the elves for 2 hours to perform a task that usually takes Nef 5 minutes, even blindfolded to perform, such as writing a simple letter and sending it by messenger pigeon. Nef also discovered that due to the Wicked Mayor's evil ways, the other elves were sick because of all the stress he put them through. One elf invited Nef out for a feast, and warned him about the Wicked Mayor, and left Arrow-Micro Company-Ville for good, warning him that one elf did not have the curse of the red skin bumps (psoriasis) and did not speak with a stutter before working there, and how another elf has to be recalled from duty every 2 days since he has been worried sick. After 2 weeks of enduring the demands of the Wicked Mayor, Nef discovered that he did not reward his hard work and dedication very well; despite working for the Wicked Mayor for 8 hours, the Wicked Boss tried to say that 4 hours was training and 4 hours practice, so Nef only had $600-$700 per month. As soon as Nef remembered that even unemployment insurance paid him $872 per month, he showed the Wicked Mayor his middle finger and left AMC-Ville, and lived happily(?) ever after. ...Or actually, not really happy. He became a very sad elf... Ah fuck the storytelling format. The next job failed to pay my wages too, got illegally kicked out of my place, my well-meaning friend didn't plan everything out well and shoved me into a hostel where I had to earn my keep by volunteering to clean the place, I was briefly homeless since one of the staff members had a misunderstanding, had stress disorders that severely affected my body, I had debilitating depression, almost lost my car, gained all my weight back and then some since I just went to junk food for comfort (I thank Hostess for coming back into business since Cupcakes were my go-to food when I was down ever since I was a kid, but I won't thank them for contributing to gaining 65 lbs in 7 months), didn't have a penny to my name and nobody else was hiring. If it wasn't for the fact that I'd rather stay alive than to let the government have my money/possessions if I died intestate, not to mention my urge to act on it faded as I was writing my will, I was actually thinking very seriously about jumping off a bridge. Luckily, some people saved my ass (thank you to the forum members that donated) and gave a few bucks; I have a lawsuit through the Department of Labor that's still working its way through the state that will put a $12K lien/garnishment on the last employer, I received a $6,700 worker's comp settlement, and I have an investment deal that grew steadily 5× from what I put in over the past few months and growing (just hope the dismal stock market of recent times doesn't fuck it up), and life is continuing to improve, so expect less jaded posts from me soon.
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Last edited by NEFARIOUS; 08-22-2015 at 09:50 PM.. |
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08-22-2015, 07:42 PM | #51 |
Know's a guy that know's a guy...
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Hard to top NEFARIOUS story telling skillz.....
While I did not hate this particular job, it was not pleasant by any stretch... My father owned a knitting mill for many years (circular knitting for those knowledgable)...in the 70's and 80's - these mills were extremely profitable, but the work was hard, hot, laborious, and nasty for the people that actually knitted... During my college years - I would work for my father in the summers home from school...7 am to 6 pm, 6 days a week, constantly standing on your feet...that's right, 66 hours per week. The first 40 hours were regular time, with the last 26 hours time and a half. 45 minute ride to work (one way) and then I'd train for 10-12 miles each day when I arrived back home as my collegiate season was in the fall. Working for your family is tough...add the nasty, greasy, oily discharge from the machines, the heat generated from a couple hundred of these running 24/7, and the heat of the summer months in a brick building without A/C....you kinda see my point. The best part - I made bank in a few short months and had cash for the whole year. One summer - I bought and paid for a car (Nissan Sentra). The job I hated the most was being a pit boss for a casino...great pay and company benefits, shitty hours and the smokey environment was TERRIBLE. |
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08-22-2015, 08:01 PM | #52 | ||
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08-22-2015, 08:19 PM | #53 | |
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My worst job was probably being a "right hand man" for a plumbing contractor during a summer in High School. Quickly opened my eyes that going to college, getting a degree, and then getting an office job beats digging trenches in 100 degree weather or setting toilets in new houses that don't have any air circulation. |
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08-22-2015, 09:30 PM | #54 |
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My first job was in an outdoor french fry (chips for our UK bretheren) stand at an amusement park for a summer. 120 degrees Farenheit, greasy floors, fryers all around, bitchy customers.
I didn't eat a potato for years. |
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08-23-2015, 04:54 AM | #55 |
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Worked at a main post office during Christmas break while in college. Worst job by far. Now I see why those people 'go postal'.
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08-23-2015, 10:42 AM | #56 |
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I also worked at the post office and enjoyed it. Worked on the loading dock with all males was a shit talking bs session for several months. Not bad at all except for freezing.
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08-23-2015, 12:18 PM | #57 | |
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08-23-2015, 12:35 PM | #58 |
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I did same thing with boxes and larger parcels outside. Work itself wasn't fun but group of guys there were. Always joking and playing jokes on each other.
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08-24-2015, 10:54 AM | #59 | |
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Top it off, she ran the LSM on the night shift. . . |
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08-24-2015, 11:43 AM | #60 | |
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08-24-2015, 01:09 PM | #61 |
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I had a job working with chemical warfare surety agents. You know all the stuff movies make action and drama movies about. I was a lab tech supporting penetration testing of materials exposed to this stuff. I had to walk into walk in fume hoods with active Sarin, Mustard, Tabin, CK, Lewisite, etc agents being pumped through the testing apparatus. Things got real interesting during the summer when the ambient air was in the 90s but the room air couldn't be conditioned due to the high air flow rate for the high negative pressure needed for containment. There were a number of times I had to step away from working on a test rig when I felt the seal around my gas mask start to fail due to the sweat dripping down my face.
Also I had the lovely once a month blood draw required to ensure I wasn't slowly being poisoned to death by exposure to nerve agent. Fun times. |
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08-24-2015, 02:54 PM | #62 | |
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I know what you mean about good help. I just fired a waiter for not showing up on time for shifts, wrong orders, bad attitude...ase. Good help is hard to find.
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08-24-2015, 02:55 PM | #63 |
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08-24-2015, 03:48 PM | #64 | |
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And it's "too" stupid. Just sayin'.
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08-24-2015, 08:33 PM | #66 |
I can haz cheezburger?
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Senior year of HS I worked at BK and hated every second of it. Fast food FTMFL.
I've never put my hands on myself either, however, my mom never went postal |
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