bimmerpost/
BMW M2 and 2-Series Coupe
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts
home
BIMMERPOST Universal Forums Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      02-24-2009, 10:35 AM   #45
E90SLAM
Supreme Allied Commander
E90SLAM's Avatar
Hong Kong
2007
Rep
61,781
Posts

Drives: A BBS WHORE
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: .

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by jh valley View Post
about 2,405 years ago i was on jupiter; you know, the planet. i had taken my flying teddy bear spaceship - made from old gym socks and fleshlights into space for the first time. naturally, i was excited that i had arrived in one piece. upon setting foot on the surface of jupiter i preceded to take 100 shots of absinthe to celebrate. i wasnt drunk at all. as i was wandering around the planet, i met the actual santa clause. kinda weird, i had always thought he lived in the north pole. w/e. we chatted a bit while i divided by zero and petted unicorns. he asked me if i wanted to try to fold a piece of paper more than 1,000 times and i did, with ease. a little later on in the afternoon i started to get bored so i hopped in santas veyron (which he was letting me borrow for the day) and cruised at a comfy 3000^342342346999945 mph. funny thing is, a JB3PROCEEDV4234324 E92 335i raced me and won. who woulda known? aaaanyway, after cruising around, i decided to head home. it took about 20 minutes rather than 13, i hit mad traffic. i arrived at home, to my beautiful wife, jessica longoria campo connolly and we fucked for 5 weeks... straight. we had 30 kids but jess' vagoo stayed as tight as the lid on a mason jar. our kids were bored of their pet dodos and dragons so we sent them to bill o'reillys house where he gave them all piggyback rides and made them ice cream cones. long story short, i found the rest of solaris's story.
__________________
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 10:36 AM   #46
E90SLAM
Supreme Allied Commander
E90SLAM's Avatar
Hong Kong
2007
Rep
61,781
Posts

Drives: A BBS WHORE
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: .

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
u both are 18...unless you both can really tell u can get married down the road....why bother....tell her to wake up from her fantasy land!!!
__________________
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 10:37 AM   #47
E90SLAM
Supreme Allied Commander
E90SLAM's Avatar
Hong Kong
2007
Rep
61,781
Posts

Drives: A BBS WHORE
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: .

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimmer Loyalist View Post
.
__________________
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 11:25 AM   #48
Cab5er
Colonel
Cab5er's Avatar
China
84
Rep
2,336
Posts

Drives: 09 E90 M3 (Sold) 13 A1
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fremont, Hainan

iTrader: (22)

Not gonna work. Trust me, I've been there. Use the money for some mods instead.
__________________

E90 ///M3/ AW/ Fox Red
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 12:49 PM   #49
Cyrax91
YNWA
Cyrax91's Avatar
United_States
198
Rep
1,814
Posts

Drives: Imola Red F80 M3
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NM

iTrader: (18)

Fuck it dude. If thats the girl in your avitar do it!
__________________
Imola Red ZCP F80 M3
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 12:49 PM   #50
Cyrax91
YNWA
Cyrax91's Avatar
United_States
198
Rep
1,814
Posts

Drives: Imola Red F80 M3
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NM

iTrader: (18)

avatar
__________________
Imola Red ZCP F80 M3
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 01:59 PM   #51
aut0sh0cker
meh
aut0sh0cker's Avatar
United_States
125
Rep
1,752
Posts

Drives: E92 335i, 997.2 C4S
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: 91362

iTrader: (2)

get out while you still can!!! i knew a guy who was engaged when he graduated high school. Now looking back (and this was less than a year ago) he just laughs about it. Seriously, things change so fast you will always regret something like this...
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 03:00 PM   #52
Tondtar
12 yr old Juvie
Tondtar's Avatar
Vanuatu
1127
Rep
881
Posts

Drives: His Mom Crazy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: El Lay

iTrader: (2)

Garage List
A wise man said,

"A man in love is an unfinished self. Once married, he is finally FINISHED"
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 08:17 PM   #53
JayAre335i
New Member
United_States
3
Rep
22
Posts

Drives: e90 335i
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jh valley View Post
about 2,405 years ago i was on jupiter; you know, the planet. i had taken my flying teddy bear spaceship - made from old gym socks and fleshlights into space for the first time. naturally, i was excited that i had arrived in one piece. upon setting foot on the surface of jupiter i preceded to take 100 shots of absinthe to celebrate. i wasnt drunk at all. as i was wandering around the planet, i met the actual santa clause. kinda weird, i had always thought he lived in the north pole. w/e. we chatted a bit while i divided by zero and petted unicorns. he asked me if i wanted to try to fold a piece of paper more than 1,000 times and i did, with ease. a little later on in the afternoon i started to get bored so i hopped in santas veyron (which he was letting me borrow for the day) and cruised at a comfy 3000^342342346999945 mph. funny thing is, a JB3PROCEEDV4234324 E92 335i raced me and won. who woulda known? aaaanyway, after cruising around, i decided to head home. it took about 20 minutes rather than 13, i hit mad traffic. i arrived at home, to my beautiful wife, jessica longoria campo connolly and we fucked for 5 weeks... straight. we had 30 kids but jess' vagoo stayed as tight as the lid on a mason jar. our kids were bored of their pet dodos and dragons so we sent them to bill o'reillys house where he gave them all piggyback rides and made them ice cream cones. long story short, i found the rest of solaris's story.
^^^^ holy hell thats funny
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 09:36 PM   #54
shiggy
Major
shiggy's Avatar
Canada
66
Rep
1,305
Posts

Drives: BMW 2009 M3
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vancouver

iTrader: (2)

she asked for the ring?????!!!!!
if your open for some advise/feedback.....
this is exactly what you say to her
" i will give you a promise ring when im good and ready...now get on your knees and suck my dick"!!!!
or you can go your route and say "yes dear anything you say dear....and next time your sitting on the toilet....give me a holler and ill rush over to wipe your ass."
sorry dude....just fuckin with ya.....seriously though .....a woman who asks for a ring is a red flag....i would be running for the hills!
__________________
2009 Jet Black E92 M3, DCT, Nav, Novillo Leather, PDC, EDC, BBS CHR's 20", Yokohama Advan Sports Tires, Eiback Pro-Kit Springs, Dinan Pullies and Dinan Stage1 software, black grills, black side gills, alcantara shift and ebrake boot.
Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 09:57 PM   #55
.:bHd:.
Major
.:bHd:.'s Avatar
Armenia
358
Rep
1,149
Posts

Drives: E92 335i MT
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: So Cal

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jh valley View Post
long story short, i found the rest of solaris's story.
lmfao
__________________

Appreciate 0
      02-24-2009, 10:13 PM   #56
DougLikesBMW
Fapmin
DougLikesBMW's Avatar
435
Rep
2,660
Posts

Drives: '03 E46 330Ci
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Plano, Texas

iTrader: (0)

Holy fuck dude, shit just got real. Wtf you promising through this ring anyhow? You only think you want to marry her, now. Give it some time and you'll change your mind, BELIEVE ME.

Shit just got cereal.
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 03:29 AM   #57
boymonkey
Lieutenant
Taiwan
41
Rep
530
Posts

Drives: slow
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Canada

iTrader: (0)

Chick asking you to buy her stuff = GTFO!!!
You buy her stuff only if you want to. Tell her to buy her own and to buy you one.
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 03:37 AM   #58
endofanera7
Major General
endofanera7's Avatar
No_Country
533
Rep
5,389
Posts

Drives: 08 JB E92 M3
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Bay Area, CA

iTrader: (16)

Garage List
lol bimmer loyalist...
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 03:49 AM   #59
Digital.James
Colonel
Digital.James's Avatar
122
Rep
2,702
Posts

Drives: GT4, Raptor.2, Tuono 1100F
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: NC

iTrader: (7)

Post pics or her and then have everyone vote to see if you should buy her a promise ring or not
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 03:51 AM   #60
mpimping
Banned
South Korea
867
Rep
336
Posts

Drives: gti
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ny,ny

iTrader: (0)

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/293645...storyContinued
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 06:56 AM   #61
Sticky
Banned
United_States
79
Rep
2,244
Posts

Drives: E92 Jerez DCT M3
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Anaheim Hills / Malibu

iTrader: (0)

Steal her shit and run.
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 01:56 PM   #62
BillLee
Major General
BillLee's Avatar
United_States
706
Rep
5,382
Posts

Drives: E92 M3
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: HTX

iTrader: (21)

Garage List
09 E92 M3  [9.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Digital.James View Post
Post pics or her and then have everyone vote to see if you should buy her a promise ring or not
there's pics of us in the car and girlfriend thread.
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 02:06 PM   #63
MadDog
Careful, I Bite.....
MadDog's Avatar
United_States
157
Rep
504
Posts

Drives: 2006 325i
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: S.F. Bay Area

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2006 325i  [7.50]
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillLee View Post
there's pics of us in the car and girlfriend thread.
That thread is 35 pages long. What post # ??
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 02:14 PM   #64
josephr25
Major
United_States
70
Rep
1,456
Posts

Drives: 2008 E92 335i
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Irvine, CA

iTrader: (2)

Garage List
Do like Homer Simpson and give her an onion ring.
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 02:35 PM   #65
pdjafari
Colonel
pdjafari's Avatar
172
Rep
2,509
Posts

Drives: G80 M3C
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Earth

iTrader: (5)

maybe a cock ring instead?
Appreciate 0
      02-25-2009, 02:37 PM   #66
Seminole
Colonel
Seminole's Avatar
United_States
478
Rep
2,032
Posts

Drives: Red Flyer
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: 38.8977° N, 77.0366° W

iTrader: (2)

Garage List
2008 E90 328i  [7.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillLee View Post
there's pics of us in the car and girlfriend thread.
Liar:

http://www.e90post.com/forums/showth...80#post3963480

Time to post up a new one.
__________________
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:08 AM.




g87
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST