[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by obert

I will look into this!

The divorce is already final so these talks we will have are about moving along that is already in the divorce.

There is no time line in the divorce on when she needs to cash me out or sell the home :(

So tell her you need one when you sit down next. Take this angle: "Look, you are moving on with your life. You have a new guy and I'm sure it's a strain on your new relationship to have me always in the picture. Finalizing the divorce and settling this house this will help that greatly. Also, it's going to allow me to move on with my life too." This is also something an mediator will help with.

[obert]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

So tell her you need one when you sit down next. Take this angle: "Look, you are moving on with your life. You have a new guy and I'm sure it's a strain on your new relationship to have me always in the picture. Finalizing the divorce and settling this house this will help that greatly. Also, it's going to allow me to move on with my life too." This is also something an mediator will help with.

Thanks for your advise!

It’s been 4 years of me waiting for her to follow through with this house situation. I agree this will be a big talking point. Last year it was let’s wait one more year so she could get her credit score up to get approved for the cash out refi. Now this year she is saying the same thing.

One thing I want to get her to realize is no matter how high her score goes up if she doesn’t make enough money to qualify for the refi her score is irrelevant and we need to sell the home.

[RickFLM4]

Here’s what not to do (recent story not that far from me):

https://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/2...on-area-couple

[obert]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

Here’s what not to do (recent story not that far from me):

https://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/2...on-area-couple

Agreed and that comment (hell hath no fury like a woman scorned) is just an excuse for people doing crazy and unfair things. In most cases it is not necessary.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by obert

Agreed and that comment (hell hath no fury like a woman scorned) is just an excuse for people doing crazy and unfair things. In most cases it is not necessary.

Do you know why divorce is expensive? Because it's worth every penny.

Forget the money whether it's $15K or $50K and move on. I still pay for a few things that, technically and lawfully, I don't have to pay for. The peace of mind I get from having that much less drama, which will spillover to my daughter, is worth every cent.

Cheers and good luck, my friend-MK

[obert]

Old thread but an update.........I have finally been cashed out by my ex and the house is no longer in my name. I am debt free and have enough in the bank for a 20% down on something in the near future. Waiting to see how the market plays out before I buy.

[Nuckle]

Originally Posted by obert

Old thread but an update.........I have finally been cashed out by my ex and the house is no longer in my name. I am debt free and have enough in the bank for a 20% down on something in the near future. Waiting to see how the market plays out before I buy.

Glad you are done with it for sure. The day my ex text me that she finally refinanced our home and it was no longer in my name was a huge relief. Ironically I was sitting in a closing attorneys office closing on my new home. Consider yourself lucky, trust me!

[hooligan_G01]

Originally Posted by obert

Old thread but an update.........I have finally been cashed out by my ex and the house is no longer in my name. I am debt free and have enough in the bank for a 20% down on something in the near future. Waiting to see how the market plays out before I buy.

Congratulations!

[obert]

Originally Posted by Nuckle

Glad you are done with it for sure. The day my ex text me that she finally refinanced our home and it was no longer in my name was a huge relief. Ironically I was sitting in a closing attorneys office closing on my new home. Consider yourself lucky, trust me!

I totally agree that things could have been way worse for me. I am grateful for everything I have for sure

[bucketfoot]

Originally Posted by obert

I have my daughter every weekend so that is great. Friday night through Sunday night. She left my retirement alone and unfortunately in Washington state you can not get a divorce unless the courts calculate how much you will pay in child support. But we agreed that I would pay her what ever is needed with out the state just deducting it from my checks.

I'm glad it looks like things are finally resolved for you, but just one thing to be aware of is that she can back out of your child support agreement at any time and have the state numbers enforced.

It's been many years, but I had this situation occur. We had support payments that we agree on outside of what the state had determined (this actually started when I had custody). About a year after I let my daughter go back to live with her mother she decided she wanted more and had the state start garnishing my pay at the higher state determined level.

[obert]

Originally Posted by bucketfoot

I'm glad it looks like things are finally resolved for you, but just one thing to be aware of is that she can back out of your child support agreement at any time and have the state numbers enforced.

It's been many years, but I had this situation occur. We had support payments that we agree on outside of what the state had determined (this actually started when I had custody). About a year after I let my daughter go back to live with her mother she decided she wanted more and had the state start garnishing my pay at the higher state determined level.

Thanks for the reply!

I pay what the state requirements are. I pay a years worth instead of monthly and not take out of my check by the state. I take the money out of my check into a savings account for next years payment.

Much easier this way and less stressful for me to not have to deal with her monthly.

[TrevorM3]

lord.. bless all of you who have been thru a divorce..

[eluded]

With covid that house is losing more money by the day. $1500 is way less of a hit then what's it worth now. Take that cash Or sell it and divide the proceeds hide behind lawyers. Ya, I'd take the cash.