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      03-03-2010, 01:12 PM   #1
Sara
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A little Laugh

This will make you feel smart..


If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix "
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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      03-03-2010, 01:16 PM   #2
leocdmg
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haha... this thread backfired on me I had to read the knee surgery one like three times before I got it.
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      03-03-2010, 01:18 PM   #3
Sara
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leocdmg View Post
haha... this thread backfired on me I had to read the knee surgery one like three times before I got it.
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      03-03-2010, 01:18 PM   #4
immiketoo
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God people are stupid
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Thickness feels good to me and my hands aren't that big.
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      03-03-2010, 01:20 PM   #5
leocdmg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Im gona tell my mommy on you for making fun of me... haha I just sent this to my buddy I heard him laughing across the room good find!
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      03-03-2010, 01:34 PM   #6
Tondtar
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      03-03-2010, 02:02 PM   #7
Kensta335
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Terrell Pryor - Ohio State Buckeyes Quarterback

“Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world,” he said. “I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance, and I’ve always looked up to Mike Vick, and I always will.”
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      03-03-2010, 02:07 PM   #8
leocdmg
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Top 10 Bush Quotes
10. "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" --Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

9. "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." --on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007 (Watch video clip)

8. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." --Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000 (Listen to audio clip)

7. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense." --Washington, D.C. April 18, 2006 (Read more; listen to audio clip; watch video clip)

6. "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." --Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (Watch video clip)

5. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." --Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 (Watch video clip)

4. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Watch video clip)

3. "You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." --to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005 (Listen to audio clip)

2. "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." --to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his handling of the Hurricane Katrina debacle, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005 (Listen to audio clip; watch video clip)

1. "My answer is bring them on." --on Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003
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      03-03-2010, 03:30 PM   #9
c0nstant
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wow sara, i must commend you; youve made a decent thread
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      03-03-2010, 03:57 PM   #10
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      03-03-2010, 04:15 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jh valley View Post
wow sara, i must commend you; youve finally made a decent thread
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      03-03-2010, 04:48 PM   #12
Derek Zoolander
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Mariah Carey quote ftw.
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      03-03-2010, 07:07 PM   #13
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haha
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      03-03-2010, 07:16 PM   #14
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      03-03-2010, 07:22 PM   #15
Alexander
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey


Really?


.....
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      03-03-2010, 08:38 PM   #16
radix
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aonarch View Post
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey


Really?


.....
Nope.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/carey.asp
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      03-03-2010, 08:59 PM   #17
ibeclueless
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lol nice
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      03-04-2010, 12:12 AM   #18
Alexander
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Quote:
Originally Posted by radix View Post
I was going to say...

Now I have to watch Touch My Body..
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      03-04-2010, 12:15 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jh valley View Post
wow sara, i must commend you; youve made a decent thread
LOL
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      03-04-2010, 02:59 PM   #20
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My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.
-G W Bush
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      03-04-2010, 03:39 PM   #21
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"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
- Jason Kidd upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
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      03-04-2010, 10:18 PM   #22
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I have a friend moving to SLC. Want to make him feel "at home"?
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