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      11-09-2014, 09:10 PM   #1
M_Six
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Mall Adventures

We went through Indy on our way back from South Bend today and Wifey wanted to look for shoes at the Keystone Mall in Indy. I told her I'd catch up with her and went poking around by myself.

1. The Apple Store was mobbed and even had one of those velvet rope things outside so people would know where the long line to enter the store started. WTF? I wouldn't wait 30 seconds to get into an Apple store, although I know Apple fans will camp out for months waiting for the next POS iPhone. Did Apple release a new phone this week? Why the huge line?

2. I wandered into Abercrombie and Fitch. I saw some nice looking casual shirts and saw they had XXL. Now I'm a big guy, but I'm not huge. I normally wear an 18/18-1/2 34/35 shirt and it's usually big on me except for the neck. XXL shirts usually are about this size. I grab a couple and head to the fitting room just to make sure, as we weren't going to drive back to Indy to return them. After playing the fitting room waiting game where Mom stuffs her kid in and then brings outfit after outfit for the kid to try on, I finally got a room. I tried the shirt on and was shocked to find it wouldn't even close past my ribs. I mean the shirt went across my back and the two halves ended directly under my armpits. I assumed I'd screwed up and had pulled the shirts out of the boys section or something. But when I went back out I saw they were clearly in the men's section. I would think these shirts would have been tight on someone with a 24in waist. And they were XXLs. WTF? Is Abercrombie and Fitch just a high school kids store or something?

3. Wifey struck out because every shoe store in the mall was mobbed and only had one or two salespeople, so each store had a ton of people waiting for shoes to try on. Was today National Buy New Shoes Day?

This is why I love ordering stuff online. Malls suck.
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      11-09-2014, 09:29 PM   #2
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It's fathers day in my home country today and I had the pleasure of first getting the info from the spouse of what he needs and then finding a compromise.

" it would be great to have an other jacket" came out after a lot of work. Great, mall time. After an hour kids were getting hungry and I still had nothing, and then he tells me wool coat would be nice. Fine, wool it is. An other hour and "I don't think this material will suit Seattle weather." At this point I wanted to die.

" I guess I could get a leather jacket". Fourth hour going on.

5 minutes later he was happy with the jacket and looking at his shoes. 2 minutes after that he had shoes.

Men everywhere learn this: OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS AND WE CAN ALL GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THERE SOONER.

A thousand bucks later we got home and he says the color isn't perfect. He can go and shop by himself from now on. Never again. We are never I public together so why the hell did I even bother?!
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      11-09-2014, 09:35 PM   #3
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Most men can buy an entire wardrobe in an hour while it takes women an hour to decide which outfits to bring to the fitting room. I instantly know if I like something or not. The delay is always waiting for someone to bring me the right size or, like today, waiting for Mom and kids to stop Bogarting the fitting rooms.

I gave up on leather jackets ages ago. I rarely see a middle aged+ man wearing a leather jacket who doesn't look like he's trying to drop 10 years.
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      11-09-2014, 11:07 PM   #4
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Quote:
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Most men can buy an entire wardrobe in an hour while it takes women an hour to decide which outfits to bring to the fitting room. I instantly know if I like something or not. The delay is always waiting for someone to bring me the right size or, like today, waiting for Mom and kids to stop Bogarting the fitting rooms.

I gave up on leather jackets ages ago. I rarely see a middle aged+ man wearing a leather jacket who doesn't look like he's trying to drop 10 years.
Haha, I'm the same! I have all the stuff and checkout line done before 15 minutes is up. If the first glance isn't good, why bother for a second?!

Sure, car parts kill me. I go back and forth how I want something done but a jacket?! I wanted to cry out of boredom.

I'm so done with this day. completely bs one from start to finish!
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      11-10-2014, 01:17 AM   #5
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Ha, yeah I agree with Mark. When I go shopping (rarely happens) I am on a mission. The mission, if I choose to accept it, is:

1. Get in.
2. Get stuff which I predetermined I am going to buy.
3. GTFO.

The main exception to this rule is when I am in the electronics section, or the movie section. Can get lost in those two places for hours.

Ok another exception is when I am shipping for stuff for my kids. That usually takes some looking around. I still usually have a mission, though, like shoes, or shirts, or pants, etc.
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      11-10-2014, 08:27 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M_Six View Post
Is Abercrombie and Fitch just a high school kids store or something?

This is why I love ordering stuff online. Malls suck.
I hate the mall as well. The crowds here in town are ridiculous, almost any day of the week. If I go, I go early in the morning and beat everyone, and I know exactly what I'm going in for. Usually to Express for shirts and Macy's for pants.

Also, yes. LOL. Abercrombie was the biggest Jr.High/Highschool fad back in MI. (Most) Everyone stopped wearing it the second they went to college, myself included. I'd never step foot back in the store ever again. Do they still sell everything with holes?

Online is alright, but not for clothes, IMO. I need to try things on, mainly pants though.
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      11-10-2014, 10:40 AM   #7
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me neither , in and out in less then 30 minutes. But I have recently found a new purpose for going to the mall here. The Chinese massage parlor that I've been going to twice/three times a month for the past 3 months. I need to stop though I think I might be addicted.
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      11-10-2014, 10:50 AM   #8
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in and out in less then 30 minutes.
Teach me your ways. I only last 3 minutes.
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      11-10-2014, 11:01 AM   #9
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Teach me your ways. I only last 3 minutes.
Har-har-har.
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      11-10-2014, 11:04 AM   #10
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Teach me your ways. I only last 3 minutes.
The Viagra forum has a great thread for this. I've seen some guys over there that can't even last ONE minute, at the mall.


True story.
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      11-10-2014, 11:22 AM   #11
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I'm at the mall at least once a week. Straight to the food court for lunch
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      11-10-2014, 11:33 AM   #12
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Quote:
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The Viagra forum has a great thread for this. I've seen some guys over there that can't even last ONE minute, at the mall.


True story.
I used to be one of those people when I'd go into the mall bare. But, now I put a coat on, and I feel a lot more comfortable and last longer, if only a few minutes longer. Everything just feels smoother, traveling in between the walls and through traffic.
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      11-10-2014, 11:34 AM   #13
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I'm at the mall at least once a week. Straight to the food court for lunch
I agree, I usually like to eat first before I get down to business at the mall.
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      11-10-2014, 11:36 AM   #14
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You could just wear a trench coat with nothing on underneath. This way, if you see a woman that you would like to fornicate, it makes the process that much easier on you both. Especially since targets are now wearing yoga pants and those hideous UGG boots, they are ready to go with the flick on a few fingers as well.
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      11-10-2014, 11:44 AM   #15
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I feel like such an outlier, since I actually don't mind going to the mall. But then again, our mall isn't enormous or consistently packed with shoppers.
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      11-10-2014, 11:47 AM   #16
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isn't enormous or consistently packed with shoppers.
Yeah, no one likes ocean malls or malls with more people than can fit in the given area.
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      11-10-2014, 11:58 AM   #17
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well I hope you guys are ready for Black Friday in a cpl of weeks. No matter how enormous the mall, it's going to get packed real quick.
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      11-10-2014, 12:17 PM   #18
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I used to get excited for Black Friday, but it just seems like there really aren't any good deals anymore. Plus, people get WAY too crazy nowadays.
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      11-10-2014, 03:00 PM   #19
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^ not sure if the metaphors are still going on or not
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      11-10-2014, 05:32 PM   #20
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^ not sure if the metaphors are still going on or not
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