[jstnstr]

So the pressure is on, my girlfriend of three years is waiting (impatiently) for the proposal. We have a good conversation about it, and are on the same page. Something I have been considering for a while. We begin discussing rings and expectations. Now she comes from a relatively wealthy family- always had wealthy friends, expensive taste. Her best friend got married last year and she mentioned that her ring was $50k. That's completely overkill and absurd to me, just absolutely insane. I know the rule of thumb has supposedly been about three months pay, but even that is pretty far less than what her expectations are. For those of you who are married/engaged, can you ballpark me about how much you spent? Either in cash or in an amount relative to income.

[MKSixer]

If the cost of the ring is a concern to her, take it as a warning. You may have bigger problems than a ring.

Sorry to rain on your parade.

And btw, the general diamond market is fraud. Read some history on it.
Cheers-mk

[Verbiage]

At first I thought this was going to be a thread about someone who got fired. Turns out, it's worse.


Good luck, OP. Sounds like you have a real winner on your hands.

[Properstyle]

50k lol... that a great laugh. 3 months pay for even someone making 75k a year is only 15k and even that is a lot for a ring. If she is worried about the price of the ring or that has even been a topic of conversation then I agree take that as a warning.

I got engaged with a 2k dollar ring. The price shouldn't matter the reason why you got it should.

[jstnstr]

I fully and completely agree. It shouldn't be the price that matters. But she sees me spending money on things like a BMW (she has one too) or an expensive watch and thinks why can't he spend that on a ring for me instead?

[Needbmwpartzz]

Run.....and fast!
I kid...well maybe.. but you may want to have another discussion with her just as you brought this to Bimmer Post and tell her what's on your mind to avoid disappointment among other problems.
GL

[F30lolz]

OP, don't listen to these fools above.

If you really love her and want her happy then keep that bankroll going and spend spend spend. After all, happy wife = happy life.

[csu87]

i bought my wife's right before we graduated college, so my 3 months was way less than what it could have been.

Main thing is that she likes it. Have you guys gone looking at rings or looked through catalogs or anything like that? If she likes it, it shouldnt matter how much it costs. And if it does matter how much it costs, it may be time to cut your losses and move on.

[Patrick303]

Agree with the others. If you're trying to "Keep up with the Kardashians" you're gonna go broke fast. When I was shopping for a ring, I just gave myself a budget that I could afford and shopped for the best quality I could get for the price. Hopefully your girl prefers a smaller ring to a bankrupt boyfriend.

[David0ff]

Listen J,
If you give the woman you love a 2k,4k,5k,8k, Xk ring and she has that "is this all you can do for me mafak?!?!?! look on her face.
That is a gift to you from the universe saying Dump and Move on.
Return the ring,
Buy BMW parts
Profit
Happy

[sirdaft1]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

If the cost of the ring is a concern to her, take it as a warning. You may have bigger problems than a ring.

Sorry to rain on your parade.

And btw, the general diamond market is fraud. Read some history on it.
Cheers-mk

x2

Proceed with caution.

[Properstyle]

Did you buy the car out right? did you buy a house out right with cash? if the answer to those is a no then they are irrelevant.

You can't compare those thing together. The only time I pay attention to money spent ratio is for the house. I won't spend 3k on the m3 and then cheap out on things the house needs. example while I was gone the washer went out. So I bought a platinum whirl pool set of washer and dryer for the house.

If the amount you spend on a hobby you love is compared to that of a ring which is suppose to stand for something else you need to take notice.

But if you are willing to spend 15k for a watch and not a ring then I could see her point. but again a ring is a gift, the price of it isn't the point.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by David0ff

Listen J,
If you give the woman you love a 2k,4k,5k,8k, Xk ring and she has that "is this all you can do for me mafak?!?!?! look on her face.
That is a gift to you from the universe saying Dump and Move on.
Return the ring,
Buy BMW parts
Profit
Happy

Another classic post from David.


OP, he is right.

[Sidewinderpb]

Sounds like she's measuring you with her friend's husband's yardstick.

[fun ticket]

Originally Posted by jstnstr

So the pressure is on, my girlfriend of three years is waiting (impatiently) for the proposal. We have a good conversation about it, and are on the same page. Something I have been considering for a while. We begin discussing rings and expectations. Now she comes from a relatively wealthy family- always had wealthy friends, expensive taste. Her best friend got married last year and she mentioned that her ring was $50k. That's completely overkill and absurd to me, just absolutely insane. I know the rule of thumb has supposedly been about three months pay, but even that is pretty far less than what her expectations are. For those of you who are married/engaged, can you ballpark me about how much you spent? Either in cash or in an amount relative to income.

If the "value" of the ring is that important to her.....like others have said.....you may want to take some more time and be certain about her. Would she still marry you if you gave a $200 ring and said i love you but this is all i can afford right now? Would she be just as excited about that to all of her friends? You get the point. Past that, if she is the right girl for you, then buy what you can afford and what you think is reasonable; not what any rules or opinions say.

Good luck with your decision.

[Needbmwpartzz]

Really don't want to sound like a negative Norm but this thread already has pre-nup/divorce written all over it....all though I do hope that's not the case should you go through with this marriage...this girl clearly cares about the finer things by her expensive taste in ring and I hope you can keep up.

[montreal red]

50k ring !! lol !! haha thats just insane.... even if i had a couple hundred grand burning a hole in my pocket, i still wouldnt spend 50k on a ring.

FYI: i spent about 2 months salary on my engagement ring. i thought that was quite a lot already.

[MaynardZed]

Originally Posted by jstnstr

I fully and completely agree. It shouldn't be the price that matters. But she sees me spending money on things like a BMW (she has one too) or an expensive watch and thinks why can't he spend that on a ring for me instead?

Sounds like she taking your inventory and keeping score. If that is her focus now, it will only get worse once marriage, kids, life events, etc. come around. You may have a princess on your hands that might never be satisfied. Just my 2cents from the little info you've given us.

[Verbiage]

Also, she seems to not really understand the true value of money; no offense to those who come from wealthy families, but their perception is honestly skewed and a "tit for tat" approach to expenses and luxuries is as immature as it is selfish. It doesn't sound like you're this way, but you do have an appreciation for the finer things in life, yourself.

If this is only for engagement, I shudder to think of the magnitude of your wedding. I also would most certainly like an invite to partake in the alcohol and festivities.

[Axius]

If you're going to get her a ring, look into actual precious stones instead of diamonds. Diamonds are virtually worthless, completely market driven by a single person.

"X" amount pay is dumb. Use your best judgement on what fits your financial situation and look at rings with her. If she is completely sold on a ring based on how much it costs, then you need to step back and think about finances for the wedding itself as well as everything you'll share financially as a couple. She could suck you dry trying to keep up with her friends.

[fravel]

[BayMoWe335]

Buddy of mine spent $76,000 on a ring for his wife 6 years ago and $105,000 on the wedding. They are getting divorced and he's having to fight for everything.