The worst type of betrayal...

immiketoo · 12-07-2011, 06:15 PM

So, last night I get a call (3:00 AM) from my ex, drunk, crying about how the guy she's seeing stole her keys and computer and left too drunk to drive. So, since she was THE love of my life and I still have a soft spot for her, I listened to her tell me how she didn't want him to drive home drunk since he has three little kids.

THEN, she mentions where he lives and my detective brain starts working in the background. My subconscious serves up the guy who it is and she confirms it a few minutes later by telling me she should never have let me take her to the party where she met this guy.

OT folks, I don't usually bitch about my personal life, and certainly not about relationships, but this is the worst betrayal I have ever experienced. I was going to marry this one. I have never loved like this. How could I have been so stupid? There's more drama surrounding this situation, but it's not relevant.

How could I have been so stupid?

oneintheory · 12-07-2011, 06:22 PM

you're human.

panicos81 · 12-07-2011, 06:23 PM

MadDog · 12-07-2011, 06:25 PM

She's blaming you for bringing her to the party where she met this guy??

Why doesn't she just admit she's a whore?

CollinsE90 · 12-07-2011, 06:28 PM

You know what Mike(talking like I'm a grown up too), I'm younger but I'm an avid people watcher and I have seen just about it all minus the inside of a marriage. The female specimen--who is often indigenous to the kitchen--sometimes has literally no idea why they do things, women sometimes want an exiting mate. Sometimes, they see you as the perfect husband and reminds them they don't want that. Sometimes you remind them of college and you make them leave to settle. From what you've said, sounds like she just wasn't that bright.

Throw this one in the loss bucket and fill 10 wins for it's trouble.

immiketoo · 12-07-2011, 06:31 PM

It's just hard to accept that all the things she told me for the last year are bullshit. I feel like I've been manipulated. Collin, you are a keen observer of people. I wish I could put you in a position to observe this. It's laughable really.

Mr Tonka · 12-07-2011, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

So, last night I get a call (3:00 AM) from my ex, drunk, crying about how the guy she's seeing stole her keys and computer and left too drunk to drive. So, since she was THE love of my life and I still have a soft spot for her, I listened to her tell me how she didn't want him to drive home drunk since he has three little kids.

THEN, she mentions where he lives and my detective brain starts working in the background. My subconscious serves up the guy who it is and she confirms it a few minutes later by telling me she should never have let me take her to the party where she met this guy.

OT folks, I don't usually bitch about my personal life, and certainly not about relationships, but this is the worst betrayal I have ever experienced. I was going to marry this one. I have never loved like this. How could I have been so stupid? There's more drama surrounding this situation, but it's not relevant.

How could I have been so stupid?

Ask your penior.

Seriously though, not stupid, but i know it feels like it.

There will come a time where you realize that you're glad it went down the way it did and that you didn't marry her. You'll know when that moment comes.

CollinsE90 · 12-07-2011, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

It's just hard to accept that all the things she told me for the last year are bullshit. I feel like I've been manipulated. Collin, you are a keen observer of people. I wish I could put you in a position to observe this. It's laughable really.

I dated one years ago that probably lied to me a thousand times, and cheated with a few+ during the year relationship, yet never would have been caught if I didn't see things most would have missed.

Some people are just bored, and do things out of spite. It almost always leads back to major insecurities, so that's what I would look for every time from now on if I were you.

immiketoo · 12-07-2011, 06:47 PM

There is definitely that going on. She's a 10 though, no matter how you look at it, and insecurity doesn't make sense. Someone once said about women: Beautiful, intelligent or sane. Pick two.

CollinsE90 · 12-07-2011, 07:01 PM

Insecurity can come in different packages, doesn't have to be just looks. You're a smart guy with a good career, enjoy your single life.

Litos · 12-07-2011, 07:07 PM

don't feel bad that the "10" you had went off to taste another dude's sperm.......

don't feel bad that the "10" you had is now a drunken step mom......

sometimes hot bitches stop being hot the moment they are assigned some responsibilities in life.

you should be happy dude.....

M3Bahn · 12-07-2011, 07:11 PM

Hope it's not another cop, I hear lots of that goes on.

What works for me is cutting off all contact.

Just be glad you didn't marry her and then have this happen.

ideliver · 12-07-2011, 07:15 PM

so was she cheating on you or did you two break up and then she went with him?

immiketoo · 12-07-2011, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litos

don't feel bad that the "10" you had went off to taste another dude's sperm.......

don't feel bad that the "10" you had is now a drunken step mom......

sometimes hot bitches stop being hot the moment they are assigned some responsibilities in life.

you should be happy dude.....

Yeah, that's not really helpful, but you're right. Cognitively, I know this is better. Emotionally, I hate it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by M3Bahn

Hope it's not another cop, I hear lots of that goes on.

What works for me is cutting off all contact.

Just be glad you didn't marry her and then have this happen.

Not a cop. I don't date cops. I don't really hang out with them either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ideliver

so was she cheating on you or did you two break up and then she went with him?

Break up first, at least, thats what I think, but who really knows, right?

K-M3 · 12-07-2011, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

There is definitely that going on. She's a 10 though, no matter how you look at it, and insecurity doesn't make sense. Someone once said about women: Beautiful, intelligent or sane. Pick two.

... thats one way to put it........... am sorry mann....this sucks....been there, so I know exactly how it feels........it gets better though.......

Year's_End · 12-07-2011, 07:24 PM

I never trust women 100% because of bullshit stories I hear like this.

M3Bahn · 12-07-2011, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

Yeah, that's not really helpful, but you're right. Cognitively, I know this is better. Emotionally, I hate it.

Not a cop. I don't date cops. I don't really hang out with them either.

Break up first, at least, thats what I think, but who really knows, right?

So you took her to a party and she gives this guy her number?

Uber V8 · 12-07-2011, 07:25 PM

Curious to know what caused you to break up with a woman that you were ready to spend the rest of your life with?

As time progresses, pain decreases.

immiketoo · 12-07-2011, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by K-M3

... thats one way to put it........... am sorry mann....this sucks....been there, so I know exactly how it feels........it gets better though.......

Truthfully, hearing all her BS is making it better. It killed any pathetic hope I had of getting back together.

immiketoo · 12-07-2011, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M3Bahn

So you took her to a party and she gives this guy her number?

Pretty much. Said it was a business contact. Happened all the time. Fuck, can't trust anything anymore!

Quote:

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

Curious to know what caused you to break up with a woman that you were ready to spend the rest of your life with?

As time progresses, pain decreases.

I didn't break up with her. Other way around. First it was, "I need a break." Then space. Then fuck you. Awesome.

Litos · 12-07-2011, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

Yeah, that's not really helpful, but you're right. Cognitively, I know this is better. Emotionally, I hate it.

it's a double edged sword.

every man gets "lively" or starts thinking "what if" once an ex makes contact with him - it's natural.

but you're better off where you were BEFORE she called you.

or as you described it "pathetic hope". it happens, but don't take that leap.

M3Bahn · 12-07-2011, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by immiketoo

Pretty much. Said it was a business contact. Happened all the time. Fuck, can't trust anything anymore!

I didn't break up with her. Other way around. First it was, "I need a break." Then space. Then fuck you. Awesome.

Well, that shows she had it all planned to break up with you, the sooner you cut off all ties the better off you will be.

12-07-2011, 06:22 PM	#2
oneintheory no longer a BMW owner 174 Rep 1,463 Posts Drives: 2011 Ford Edge Sport Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Suffolk/Chesapeake, VA iTrader: (0)	you're human.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 06:23 PM	#3
panicos81 Colonel 237 Rep 2,327 Posts Drives: a white bmw Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cyprus iTrader: (2) Garage List 2010 BMW E92 [8.54] 2007 e90 [0.00]	__________________ E90post E9x photo game= 67[70-3] COTM 06/11 http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=531094 My webpage. Feel free to visit My 500px
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 06:25 PM	#4
MadDog Careful, I Bite..... 162 Rep 504 Posts Drives: 2006 325i Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: S.F. Bay Area iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 325i [7.50]	She's blaming you for bringing her to the party where she met this guy?? Why doesn't she just admit she's a whore?
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 06:28 PM	#5
CollinsE90 Where my bitches 803 Rep 1,924 Posts Drives: Cadillac coupe deville Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: street corner checking profits iTrader: (0)	You know what Mike(talking like I'm a grown up too), I'm younger but I'm an avid people watcher and I have seen just about it all minus the inside of a marriage. The female specimen--who is often indigenous to the kitchen--sometimes has literally no idea why they do things, women sometimes want an exiting mate. Sometimes, they see you as the perfect husband and reminds them they don't want that. Sometimes you remind them of college and you make them leave to settle. From what you've said, sounds like she just wasn't that bright. Throw this one in the loss bucket and fill 10 wins for it's trouble. __________________
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 07:01 PM	#10
CollinsE90 Where my bitches 803 Rep 1,924 Posts Drives: Cadillac coupe deville Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: street corner checking profits iTrader: (0)	Insecurity can come in different packages, doesn't have to be just looks. You're a smart guy with a good career, enjoy your single life. __________________
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 07:07 PM	#11
Litos Banned 224 Rep 2,991 Posts Drives: 2012 Challenger RT Junk Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Houston/Pearland iTrader: (1)	don't feel bad that the "10" you had went off to taste another dude's sperm....... don't feel bad that the "10" you had is now a drunken step mom...... sometimes hot bitches stop being hot the moment they are assigned some responsibilities in life. you should be happy dude.....
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 07:11 PM	#12
M3Bahn Lieutenant 343 Rep 483 Posts Drives: M3 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: ATL iTrader: (0)	Hope it's not another cop, I hear lots of that goes on. What works for me is cutting off all contact. Just be glad you didn't marry her and then have this happen. __________________ The journey is the reward.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 07:15 PM	#13
ideliver Major 248 Rep 1,247 Posts Drives: E60 M5, E71 X6M, E46 M3 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: At the gas station iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 BMW E46 M3 'vert [0.00] 2008 BMW M5 [0.00] 2011 BMW E92 [0.00] 2012 BMW X6M [0.00] 2003 E46 M3 [0.00]	so was she cheating on you or did you two break up and then she went with him? __________________ Current: 2006 E46 M3 'vert 6-sp 2008 E60 M5, 2011 E92 328 6-sp, 2011 E70 N55, 2012 E71 X6M
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 07:24 PM	#16
Year's_End Lieutenant General 1255 Rep 12,446 Posts Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	I never trust women 100% because of bullshit stories I hear like this. __________________ Past: '08 E92 335i\|ZPP\|ZSP\|6AT Past: '15 Mustang GT\|401A\|PP\|6MT Current: '20 Shelby GT350\|6MT
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-07-2011, 07:25 PM	#18
Uber V8 Volcano Knuckles 428 Rep 491 Posts Drives: 2017 Camaro SS 1LE Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	Curious to know what caused you to break up with a woman that you were ready to spend the rest of your life with? As time progresses, pain decreases.
	Appreciate 0 Quote